We’re the Millers (2013)

were the millers4

We’re the Millers is a comedy about a pot dealer forced to head to Mexico to smuggle a bunch of weed back to the states for a shady (unlike the not-shady) drug kingpin. His plan to get across the boarder without being checked to closely is to fake having a normal American family. He hires a stripper, runaway and young buddy to play his family.

Hilarity ensues.

You will hear about this film because Jennifer Aniston will feed the public a line of bullshit about how she’s going to be nude in the film. BS. TOTAL BS. She does play a stripper in the film, and you can see from the trailer that her stripper character does at least strip down to her bra and panties, and you have to give Aniston credit for looking insanely hot for a 44 year old broad, but I’ll bet my bottom dollar (that’s a thing, right?) that she doesn’t show her rack.

Anyways, the fake family in the film goes on a road trip and things don’t go as expected. Shocking, I know. The fake son even gets bit in the wiener by a tarantula. AND HOLY SHIT THAT’LL BE IN MY NIGHTMARES FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.

We’re the Millers

We’re the Millers comes from director Rawson Marshall Thurber, who has a sweet name. Rawson. Rhymes with awesome. At least I assume it does. Sweet name. I would set the world on fire with fabulousness with a name like that.

The screenplay was written by about 40 guys, so it’ll have a lot of whitewashed jokes that no one really likes, but every thinks should be funny. You’ll struggle to figure out why the film doesn’t work, and fail.

And fail miserably.


We’re the Millers Trailer

We’re the Millers Release Date

August 9, 2013.

Who’s In It?

Jason Sudeikis . . . David Burke
Jennifer Aniston . . . Rose
Will Poulter . . . Kenny
Ed Helms . . . Brad 
Emma Roberts . . . Casey
Kathryn Hahn

What’s Good About It?

We’re the Millers actually has a few laughs in the trailer, and the cast is decent enough with Jason Sudeikis as the lead and Jennifer Aniston always proving capable if a bit boring. I like the way Emma Roberts fills my heart with gladness though.

What’s Bad About It?

Jason Sudeikis is dating Olivia Wilde. WHAT THE FUCK?

Our Clever Prediction

I don’t see We’re the Millers being a huge success. It’s set up for it, but I think it’ll fail to live up to expectations. It’ll do somewhere in the $50-$60 million dollar range most likely. Which might be enough for a sequel, since it likely didn’t cost much to make.