Transcendence, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Ride Along & More Trailers!

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Transcendence goes binary with a new trailer, Ant-Man gets a… well, Ant-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 makes a villain look like a rock star, the lead of 300: Rise of an Empire gets a character poster, Sabotage legit makes Schwarzenegger look like a badass for the first time in years, The Grand Budapest Hotel looks like a wonderful children’s novel, Divergent brings on its first film clip, The Expendables 3 goes super basic with the premise, Ride Along gets especially lame, and How to Train Your Dragon 2 makes a good case for being made!

Transcendence

Transcendence has released its first two trailers, and they are turds. It’s just binary with a little reveal at the end that’s not in the least bit interesting. This is a film by Wally Pfister, the cinematographer for Christopher Nolan’s Batman films and Inception. The Morgan Freeman narrated one is a bit better at least.

And the trailers don’t have any real cinematography. Cause a really good cinematographer wouldn’t want to show off how pretty his flick will look. OBVIOUSLY.

Ant-Man

Ant-Man has cast Paul Rudd as the titular hero! This is awesome news. I think he’ll be great as the incredibly shinking (and potentially massively growing) superhero! Director Edgar Wright previously teased that we might see the new younger Ant-Man as well, as the mantle has been handed down. Nonetheless, Paul Rudd will play Hank Pym, the original Ant-Man and inventor/discoverer of Pym particles (what a dick – named his discovery after himself) that allows him to become the incredible shrinking man. Or Ant-Man.

Ant-Man was one of the original Avengers, and though he won’t be in The Avengers: The Age of Ultron, at least officially (I’m betting on a post-credits inclusion), he’ll be kicking off Phase 3 of Marvel’s plan. Age of Ultron ends phase 2, and I assume the third Avengers film will end Phase 3.

Phase 25 will end with each of us actually gaining super powers. Sweet.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 has a new photo today of Harry Osborn, and he looks cool as shit. Cool sunglasses and jacket, bro. I honestly had hoped there would be a hidden clue in the photo, so I spent 5 minutes staring at his sunglasses to see if there was a reflection, but I see diddly-squat.

So no luck. Oh well.
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300: Rise of an Empire

300: Rise of an Empire has a new poster that features Sullivan Stapleton. He plays Themistokles, a Spartan leader who was pretty important historically, and while he doesn’t seem to have the presence of Gerard Butler’s Leonides in the original 300, but he’s not bad.

Does it look like he stabbed himself in the head to anyone else?
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Sabotage

Sabotage has a new poster, and it’s not half bad. I think Schwarzenegger has looked too old and haggard in his last couple films, and this really turned that around. He looks reasonably buff and the tats/DEA uniform make him look cool. I approve wholeheartedly. That’s right, I give my entire freaking heart to this poster. That’s a lot.

I kinda wanna take it back, but this is the interwebs, and I have no way of going back, highlighting what I’ve said, deleting it, and saying something else. This shit is permanent.
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The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Grand Budapest Hotel has a new trailer that’s even more bizarre than I would have thought. I was expecting it to be more charming than this. This is just frightening. I am frightened.

Divergent

Boy, the sexual tension in this new film clip from Divergent is BOILING. I mean, they don’t say much, then they talk about the handsome fella’s tattoos, and he takes his shirt off. YOWZA. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE BRIGADE.

OH NO, SHE’S TOUCHING HIS BACK.

THEN… SMOOCHIES!

Sorry, just trying to speak the language of Divergent’s audience.

The Expendables 3

The Expendables 3 has a very basic new trailer. It’s just the insane cast walking away from the camera and turning around to show us everyone who’s in this sucker. Yeesh. Big cast.

Ride Along

Ride Along has a new trailer that doesn’t do much for the film, and I already saw this in the theater, so it’s sorta late to the online game, but whatever. I’m laughing, you’re laughing, no one’s really laughing cause… really?

I kinda like Kevin Hart though.

How to Train Your Dragon 2

First thing for this How to Train Your Dragon 2 trailer: it’s beautiful. Seriously. Nice animation style. I’m impressed. Second, the story looks kinda decent. Sorta badass for a kid’s movie.

I really want a dragon.

I mean, this is exactly how Game of Thrones should end. Just a big ass fight in the snow, and there are dragons. For reals. Watch the trailer. NOW.