This is the most important update ever. See Natalie Portman’s Butt.

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Green Lantern Trailer! And other stuff! Hooray! Natalie Portman’s ASS!! This is the day of days!

Green Lantern

Finally, we can all agree that this film is going to stink. Cause of the trailer. It looks stupid. I’m trying to think of something good to say, and all I’ve got is that I like Green Lantern. But that doesn’t affect my opinion of a film that is seeking to destroy something I love. Why did they cast a (hard to say it, almost vomited) Canadian for Hal Jordan? He’s a hero, not a douche bag.

Natalie Portman’s Beautiful Back Door

Yeah, it’s contained in a trailer for Your Highness, which I suddenly want to see, but it’s all about the caboose, and my God, it is beautiful. This must be what happiness feels like.

Red Riding Hood

Wow, part way through I was thinking, “This has potential, but it looks like a crappy Twilight.” Then the trailer let me know why, it’s the same director as the first Twilight film. I’m already angry at small gay birds. And I don’t understand why. Oh, and there’s a poster too. Enjoy.

Wizard of Oz

Apparently, Warner Brothers wants to remake The Wizard of Oz. I thought that’s what Sam Raimi was doing. No, his is more of a sequel, or prequel, that mostly deals with the Wiz. No, Warner Bros wants to remake the film exactly like the original, with Robert Zemeckis directing from the original script. From 1939. I guess Ted Turner bought it a few years ago, and Warner Bros bought Turner’s stuff. This is brilliant, they won’t even have to hire new writers! Everyone wins! Except writers. Wouldn’t it have been funny if they did this during the writer’s strike? They could have remade soooo many films. It would almost be like all the films we have in production now, since they’re all remakes too, only rewritten by dumb ass hacks.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.

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