Because the world is a cold, unfair place, we’re getting another sequel to The Expendables, this time with even more sad old action stars past their prime roiding it up to look like the Abomination from The Incredible Hulk.
Newest additions to the cast include Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, and Antonio Banderas, EW reports. The homoeroticism will be off the charts! I can’t wait for all these fat old guys firing huge guns while covered in sweat!
Gibson, who will appear in Machete Kills this year, will reportedly play the villain, presumably someone with a toothbrush mustache. It’s not known what role Banderas will play, or if he’ll have sex with any superhot actress.
The big news, of course, is the inclusion of Harrison Ford, and the departure of Bruce Willis. I know people are baffled about Ford joining the franchise at this point in his career, especially when he has projects like Star Wars lined up, but I honestly don’t care. If the guy wants to have fun with some fellow cranky senior citizens, good for him. Now, Willis is a whole different story.
Sylvester Stallone tweeted these on Wednesday:
WILLIS OUT… HARRISON FORD IN !!!! GREAT NEWS !!!!! Been waiting years for this!!!! – Sylvester Stallone
GREEDY AND LAZY …… A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE – Sylvester Stallone
Yes, Rambo just called John McClane “greedy and lazy”! Apparently Willis wanted a staggering 1M/day paycheck. He was supposed to shoot for 4 days, and would’ve gotten 4M for the small role of Mr Church. Considering this episode and his recent grumpy interview, is Willis somewhat losing it?
Even if he set the price for his dignity at 4M, it’s a bit rich of Stallone to publicly chastise him. Willis is lazy? Nevermind the fact that he has appeared in movies like Moonrise Kingdom and Looper recently, and has played some very interesting, non-blockbuster roles throughout his career, Twelve Monkeys being my favorite, whereas Stallone is just scraping the bottom of the barrel that is 80s nostalgia. Glass houses much, Mr Stallone?
The Expendables 3 will release on August 15 next year, and the cast currently consists of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Victor Ortiz, Mel Gibson, and Antonio Banderas.