The Boy Next Door is a thriller about a suburban mom and teacher who has an affair with a neighbor boy who turns out to be a psycho who makes her life a living hell.
The film doesn’t appear to be treading any new ground, but it is most definitely an opportunity for Jlo to make herself look sexy and hot to a new generation of teenaged boys. Well, I’m not a teenager, but I am fully erect under this Starbucks table, so I’d say it’s working.
Wait, sorry. That isn’t from the movie. This Caramel Macchiato is just DELICIOUS. It must be the steamed milk that gets me so excited…
Anyways, in the film, Jennifer Lopez plays Claire Peterson, which sure is a suburban name, and her husband has been cheating on her. She moves into a new house with her son, who takes a shining to the hunky boy next door, who happens to be a student at her school. Uh oh. Anyways, he’s got muscles and thinks she’s a sexy cougar, and she has an itch that only the awkward but enthusiastic thrusting of an 18 year old boy can scratch. So she bangs him. Hard.
But it was a MISTAKE! She realizes that! She knows she is the adult and should have put a stop to all this, but she just couldn’t. Me MADE HER FEEL ALIVE.
But he’s the jealous type, and when Jlo starts spending time with her cheating husband again, the boy next door turns dangerous, and puts her whole life at risk. She could lose her job, her son, and perhaps even her life.
But that booty is gonna stay regardless.
The Boy Next Door
The Boy Next Door comes from director Rob Cohen, who last made Detective Cross, but is better known for directing The Fast and the Furious and xXx. Barbara Curry wrote the screenplay. Her first two movies as a writer are actually coming out next year, with the other flick called The Perfect Guy.
The Boy Next Door Trailer
The Boy Next Door Release Date
January 23, 2015.
Who’s In It?
Ryan Guzman . . . Noah
Bailey Chase . . . Benny
Ian Nelson . . . Kevin
What’s Good About It?
The Boy Next Door has the JLO booty, which is always a good thing:
What’s Bad About It?
I don’t think the film will have as many ass shots as the music video, so a better use of your time would be spending 90 minutes rewatching the booty video.
Our Clever Prediction
The Boy Next Door doesn’t look like a hit. JLO doesn’t have the same drawing power she once did, and the story looks incredibly bland. That said, 50 Shades of Grey comes out next year, and this satisfies that same scratch for a lot of ladies. Hunky dude. Wants your butt. Dirty and naughty. Yowza.
MAN THIS CARAMEL MACCHIATO IS WORKING. CAUSE I AIN’T GETTING A CHUBBY FROM THINKING ABOUT HUNKY DUDES.