Star Wars Episode 7 and Ant-Man Casting Rumors, Noah has a new and busy poster, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier has a new Robert Redford poster that shows he’s still shockingly handsome.
Star Wars Episode 7
Star Wars Episode 7 is reportedly talking with Gary Oldman for an unspecified role. I can imagine many roles he could play, from a badass Jedi Knight to the new villain, but I think it’s safe to say he’ll play Luke Skywalker’s gay lover. Then Han Solo gets jealous and they fight over him for three movies, only to have Luke’s other hand get cut off, a villain reveal Oldman is really a good guy who is secretly Harry Potter’s, I MEAN HAN SOLO’S, good guy uncle, then they defeat the Goblet of Fire.
There was so much insanity in there I’ve forgotten my name.
I know this was already covered by dumbowl earlier today, but in case you hadn’t noticed I like hearing myself talk. Or type. Whatevs.
So, Ant-Man appears to be getting a new, sweet piece of ass. Evangeline Lilly, best known for her work on Lost, though she was an elf in the latest Hobbit film, is up for the lead female role in the film. Word is she might play older Ant-Man Hank Pym’s, played by Michael Douglas, daughter, but some think she might be The Wasp, Janet Van Dyne. Janet married Hank in the comics, not younger Ant-Man Scott Lang, so maybe she’ll be The Wasp’s daughter. It wouldn’t be a horrible tale, to be honest, and I’d love to see her in skintight leather, making out with Scarlett Johansson as I wear my Captain America costume and stroke my shield and play with Thor’s hammer…
Sorry, there was so much insanity there I forget I’m not gay.
Noah has a new international poster today, and while I think it’s not completely horrible, it is missing one of the ingredients from any telling of Noah, which is ANIMALS. Is there a villain that’s not in the Bible? Sure, but no animals. MISSED OPPORTUNITY. I want to see a large leopard or something. Those things are badass.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: The Winter Soldier has a new poster that focuses on Robert Redford’s character Alexander Pierce. He looks quite dashing to be honest, and super confident, not unlike myself. You can see his age, but he’s still looking like he could kick any Canadian’s ass with less than three blows, again, not unlike myself.