Secretariat (2010)


Secretariat tells the story of the people who owned and developed the talents of the legendary racehorse who became the first horse to win the triple crown in 25 years in 1973.

After a housewife takes over for her father as head of a stable she ultimately helps with the training of what may be the finest racehorse in history, Secretariat. Penny Chenery had little experience raising horses, so she enlisted the aid of trainer Lucien Laurin, and together they won the Triple Crown. Big deal. I won the Triple Crown four times in a row. They’re not making a film about me. (note: I may not have actually won the Triple Crown)


The Scoop

Looking to capitalize on all the good feelings left behind when Seabiscuit made for such an inspirational story SEVEN YEARS AGO, director Randall Wallace, who wrote Braveheart, will try to convey all the glory of a horse that doesn’t help inspire a nation during the Great Depression. Instead, they dealt with hippies. What an unbelievably inspirational tale this will be.

Who’s It For?


Movie Release Date

October 8, 2010.

Who’s In It?

Diane Lane … Penny Chenery
John Malkovich … Lucien Laurin
Scott Glenn … Ogden Phipps
James Cromwell … Ogden Phipps
Dylan Walsh … Jack Tweedy
Fred Dalton Thompson … Bull Hancock
Kevin Connolly … Bill Nack
Amanda Michalka … Kate Tweedy

Interesting Fact

Diane Lane had expressed interest in being a part of a donkey show, but this was the closest she could find. (note: probably not true, but still worth mentioning)

Related Movies

Seabiscuit, Flicka, Black Beauty (not the porno)

What’s Good About It?

Diane Lane continues to be the hottest cougar in town, and John Malkovich can’t help by be entertaining. And who doesn’t love horses?

What’s Bad About It?

I’ll tell you who doesn’t love horses. Me. I fell off one when I was younger. It probably kicked me in the head, which would explain the twitching.

Our Clever Prediction

Low box office success. Really, who cares about horse racing outside of degenerate gamblers? Well, gamblers and those announcers that like to talk really fast in that old timey voice. I doubt it’ll see much Oscar contention, but you never know.

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