Noah (2014)


Noah is Darren Aronofsky’s take on the epic Biblical story of God bringing massive flood waters to wipe out most of the corrupt human race, and the one man whom he chooses to keep safe.

There aren’t a ton of details as to how this film version of Noah will be different from others, or how it may (or may not) deviate from the Biblical tale.

For those who don’t know, Noah was instructed by God to build an Ark and put his family and a selection of two of every animal on the ship to preserve life. Noah was mocked by others for building the Ark, but the rains came and came and came. Eventually he started sending out ravens and doves to see if there is any land, and after a few failed attempts a dove comes back with an olive branch and Noah is able to land his boat and restart the human race. Hopefully the right way this time.

Oh, but then Noah screwed everything up and allowed for Canadians. If only he’d left that one stupid little Canadian kid of his off the boat…


Darren Aronofsky is both writing and directing Noah, and the story comes from… God. Not a lot of back and forth on the screenplay I suppose.

Aronofsky is best known for films like Black Swan, the Wrestler and The Fountain. He’s a bit hit or miss to me.

Noah Trailer

Noah Release Date

March 28, 2014.


Who’s In It?

Emma Watson … Ila
  Douglas Booth … Shem
  Russell Crowe … Noah
  Logan Lerman … Ham
  Jennifer Connelly … Naameh
  Anthony Hopkins … Methuselah
  Kevin Durand
  Ray Winstone
  Marton Csokas
  Dakota Goyo … Young Noah
  Mark Margolis … Samyaza
  Madison Davenport … Na’el
  Skylar Burke … Young Ila
  Barry Sloane … Poacher Leader
  Gavin Casalegno … Young Shem
  Finn Wittrock … Young Tubal Cain
  Nolan Gross … Young Ham
  Leo McHugh Carroll … Japheth
  Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson … Cain
  Kevin Cannon … Blacksmith

What’s Good About It?

I’m very curious about Noah. Darren Aronofsky is, at his best, truly an outstanding director. At the same time he’s also a bit pretentious and can do some really arty, crappy films. The Fountain was a mess in my opinion. He’s improved since then with The Wrestler and Black Swan, but his style is a bit odd. He could do great things with Noah. And with a cast that includes Hermione and Russell Crowe he has the raw materials to make a classic.

What’s Bad About It?

Aronofsky’s inconsistency might make Noah a total turd.

Our Clever Prediction

I have high hopes for Noah, and the fact that it doesn’t come out until March of 2014 means he’ll have ample time to polish and add some Godly special effects to the story. Thumbs are up!


  1. Nice little burn I see you slipped in there, about my fellow Canucks…

    You’ll pay for this, for your unwillingness to accept Canadians as the master race.

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