Movie news for Superman, World War Z, The Last Stand & More!

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man of steel jan 7

Pics from Man of Steel, Oblivion, Oz the Great and Powerful, World War Z and Epic, film clips from A Haunted House, a poster from Jack the Giant Slayer, and a trailer for The Last Stand.

Man of Steel

Even though we’ve had a couple trailers for Man of Steel, I feel like I’m not really all that much closer to understanding the tone and look of the film. While this picture of Superman is nice, and you can see the military behind him, he looks pale as hell, his suit looks super dark, and I still don’t know much more. It looks way better in motion, especially the cape, which looked quite majestic in the latest trailer.

MAJESTIC I SAY.

Oblivion

Tom Cruise’s upcoming science fiction flick, Oblivion, has a new pic of Cruise in handcuffs talking to Morgan Freeman before being indoctrinated into a weird cult.

But in the future, so it’s not Scientology.

Oh, and the cult are the good guys.

Just kidding. I have little idea what the F is going on here. I think Morgan Freeman is something of a freedom fighter, and he’ll enlist Tom Cruise at some point, but I can’t really be sure.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz the Great and Powerful looks like the BEST prom ever.

Whoops. I meant porn. I sorta misspelled it there. Of topic question: do girls have taints?

Anyways, here’s a picture of Oz played by James Franco and some taintless witch. At least I THINK she lacks a taint.

World War Z

World War Z has a new pic of Brad Pitt totes defending his family. I mean, just LOOK at the way his arm is barely wrapped around his fake daughter’s body in a sorta shielding motion. And the concern on his face? Believable. Totes fo sho.

Is it odd I look at his fake wife’s boob to try to get an idea of what it looks like? Is it odd I wonder what red hair smells like?

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING?

Epic

Epic has a new photo of the lead character, a young girl who gets shrunk down to the size of an insect, riding a hummingbird. Wait. A bug would look much smaller on a hummingbird. She should be larger. That’s it. The film is ruined. The sizes are ALL OFF.

A Haunted House

A Haunted House has a couple new videos, the first shows how damaged video surveillance guys are (this is accurate to real life), the second shows the cowardice of all men in their 30s (also accurate), the third shows how black men are all gay or something, this apparent gayness is then confirmed, and possessed people are paranoid. And men don’t pay attention to women.





Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters has a couple new film clips, and I don’t wish to speak ill of them, they’re some of the bigger turds I’ve seen in a while. The first references the fable, and the candy house. The second shows that Jean Grey still looks pretty damn good. I’d hit it and quit it. Slam it then wham it. Honk it then… wonk it?

I’d have sex with her.

Anyways, these film clips are doing their job, because they have made me super excited for what may be the worst movie ever. AWESOME!

Jack the Giant Slayer

I’m kinda mad about the name change to Jack the Giant Slayer. It was Jack the Giant Killer, which was fine, but I have a movie coming out called Jack the Giant Slayer… Fan, and it’s about this guy named Jack who loves the heavy metal band Slayer. It was gonna be awesome. Now I have to just call it Slayer Fan or something else lame, and that blows. I blame Canada. Thanks, Canada.

This poster sucks, BTW.

The Last Stand

The Last Stand has a new red band trailer, but outside of a bit of blood splatter I don’t know why it’s red band. I was only half paying attention, since it had Johnny Knoxville, but no doubt this will be Arnold’s best role since The 6th Day.

LOL. I’m hilarious.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.