Movie News for Pirates, Dark Knight, The Beaver, and much, much much more! MUCH!

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Lots of stuff, and real insight today. I ponder, hypothesize, postulate, and pass wind. That’s fancy talk for “farted.”

Pirates of the Caribbean

ET has a behind the scenes video up for next summer Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and I have to say, it sure does look like a behind the scenes video made by ET. I was on board until the narrator, Douchey mc Doucherson, said, “Johnny gave carriage riding a whole new meaning.” And it seems Captain Jack Sparrow will be standing on a carriage at some point. Whoopee. Because they’re douches. Not Captain Jack, but ET. That was a stupid line, and they should be ashamed.

I Am Number Four

New trailer for I Am Number Four. It actually looks decent toward the end. The beginning reminds me too much of Twilight, not that I’ve ever seen those films. Dozens of times. And written “Brian and Edward” on the back of all my notebooks. In cursive. Cause it’s fancy.
The special effects look cool. And it has the good looking girl from Glee, not the big nosed ugly bitchy-looking one. I hate her. So… here’s the trailer.

The Dark Knight Rises

I’ve read this rumor a few times now, and I’m finally commenting. It appears that Christopher Nolan may be using the Batman story arc PREY for The Dark Knight Rises. I just reread the story a few days ago and I have to say it’s perfect for where they left The Dark Knight. Essentially, the story is about Batman being hunted by the police, and he has to go about gaining the population’s trust again, all the while the police are hunting him. Dr. Hugo Strange is hired by the mayor to help figure out who Batman is, and during his investigation he goes nuts with his obsession with Batman. He basically brainwashes a police officer who hates Batman into becoming a rival vigilante who kills. I suspect that Hardy will play the officer, although they may blend the cop with Strange, making him the one who is trying to become Batman. At one point, the Night Scourge (name of the pretender) actually dresses up in a faux Batman costume and kidnaps the Mayor’s daughter, who plays a bit of a love interest for Bruce Wayne. It would be really cool to see Tom Hardy playing a nutso psychiatrist dressed up like Batman, especially after watching Bronson, where he was nuts and awesome. All in all, it’d be a great storyline for Nolan to exploit for The Dark Knight Rises.

Lots of serious thought there. Uh… Canada. Bunch of stupids up there. Right?

The Beaver

Now there’s a poster. Damnit. I keep updating that damn preview! I’m getting kinda mad at Mel Gibson. Not for anything he’s said, but for all these little inconveniences. It’s getting… inconvenient. Damnit, MEL! Now I can’t think of… words n’ stuff. Fugins. Oh, poster for The Beaver below.

The Resident

Apparently, Hilary Swanks sucks. Or blows. Or… Well, her movies aren’t doing so well. Yeah, she’s talented and makes stupid people cry (and me), but her next film, which looked somewhat promising, The Resident, will be going straight to DVD. I guess it has to be released in theaters for at least some short period of time, but it’s going to be on DVD at essentially the same time. I can’t wait to see it. It must be good.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.

1 COMMENT

  1. All this awesome insight, and all I can think of is registering ‘Douchey mc Doucherson’ as my next screen name. The world could be ending, but if someone slipped out a wicked fart I’d start laughing and forget about the impending doom. Apparently I have the maturity of an 8 yr old 🙁

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