Movie news for Killing Them Softly, Snitch, Cirque du Soleil & More!

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glimpse inside the mind of charles swan III nov 21

Pics from A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III, trailers for Killing Them Softly and Snitch and posters for Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D.

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III has a couple new photos today, and they make me think this film is going to be a lot like a Wes Anderson flick. Mainly due to the quirkiness and the cast, but still. The one thing this film really has going for it is that Charlie Sheen has tiger blood. You can hardly ever cast someone with tiger blood.

Killing Them Softly

Killing Them Softly has a new trailer today that’s very cool and makes me want to see it, but it ends with the line, “America’s not a country; it’s a business.”

Am I living in a business? Can you be a legal resident of a business? What does that make Canada? A charity (the charity of losers helping losers be losers, no doubt)?

I disagree with Brad Pitt. America is a country. I’m reasonably sure of it.

Snitch

Snitch has a trailer, and I don’t really remember writing a preview of this film…

Oh, I didn’t yet. Phew. I thought I’d forgotten. The film looks pretty cool, with The Rock becoming an informant for the FBI to save his son from a prison sentence. I don’t think it works this way, but basically in normal situations they let guys who are facing hard time flip, thus reducing their sentences. The Rock’s kid either can’t or won’t do that, so the Rock does it for him, going undercover to take down a cartel. It’s kinda cool. The action looks good, and the Rock, as per his usual, looks like a friggin badass. KINDA LIKE ME.

Cirque Du Soleil: World’s Away 3D

Cirque Du Soleil: World’s Away 3D has a couple new posters today, and they’re all pretty cool, though the one with the four ladies all contorted doesn’t seem possible. Seriously, this shit is AWESOME. I can barely bend over to tie my shoes. Actually, I don’t bend over to do it anymore. I hired a Canadian to do it for me. Did you know that for just seven cents a day you can hire a Canadian to do your bidding? Apparently, their country is such a turd that for just the chance to stand on American soil they’ll essentially become indentured servants to large, hairy men who don’t like to tie their own shoes.

GO AMERICA!
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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.