Evil Dead (2013) – Its an Evil Dead Remake

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The Evil Dead is an upcoming remake of the original Evil Dead, which is a classic directed by Sam Raimi about evil spirits possessing some teenagers when they go out for a weekend in a cabin in the woods. There aren’t a ton of details at present about the remake, although it’s said to center on a brother and sister who go to the cabin in the woods to help the sister kick her drug addiction.

Then scary stuff… presumably. Also, probably campy stuff.

Evil Dead 2013

My reaction to the first Evil Dead movie

The movie is a bout ‘Mia’, a young babe…. struggling with staying sober and being hot. She heads to a remote cabin with her brother and a group of friends, where they stumble upon a nasty old book called  ‘Book of the Dead’. That’s the first mistake, the second is opening the book and releasing the evil shit lurking inside….

Raimi is involved in the remake, although he isn’t directing. Fede Alvarez is at the helm, and he previously made Panic Attack, which I’ve never heard of, so I’m sure he’s perfect. The film is gross, and rightfully so. The first one was disgusting, it made me sick to my stomach as it did my true love at the time. Bodies being hacked up, blood everywhere.. just a disgusting excuse for a movie. DISGISTING

Bruce Campbell is producing, and the screenplay was written by Raimi, Rodo Sayagues, and Alvarez, with a rewrite by Diablo Cody.  Damn. Cody? Really? The movie is a retelling of the classic ‘Evil Dead’ movie, but probably more fucking gory now. I mean, check out the trailer… some chick licks a knife with her tongue and cuts it in half. IN HALF. I know if I found a creepy old book in an isolated cabin, the first thing I would do is try and decipher it’s meaning, and chant the shit out of the odd words. Right? Check out the new Evil Dead trailer below, shit gets real right after the snoopy white kids stir shit up, like they always do. Honkeys, always starting shit.

On a side note :  they took the tree-rape scene out of the remake, guess they had to draw the line somewhere. Apparently the line is tree-rape. Cutting off heads is ok, tree-rape is bad. Only the sick, disturbing minds of Raimi and the boys could pull this movie off, I’ll bring a barf bag to the theater when I attempt to sit through this.

 

Getting ready to watch Evil Dead in 1983

On another side note : I was 12 when the original came out, it freaked the shit out of me as a young lad. I was trying to get my freak on with a girl I had this enormous crush with, and we rented this one night. Snuggled deep into a sleeping bag, we held each other tight through most of the film, but I screamed like a little bitch as my braces chattered together. A sad day really, I never really heard from this young vixen again after watching Evil Dead, I suppose she didn’t want to be stuck with a little bitch with braces, I can understand that. So yeah, I hated this movie. But when you think about it, how could any woman resist my manliness as a young strapping 12 yr old boy? Anyways, I’ll continue more of my boyhood stories another day.

The Evil Dead Trailer

Yeah, here’s the old trailer, and 2 new ones for the 2013 version of Evil Dead.








The Evil Dead Release Date

April 12, 2013.

Pictures

Who’s In It?

No casting announcements yet, but one can only hope Bruce Campbell is in it.

What’s Good About It?

The original Evil Dead is a classic because of it’s blend of horror, comedy and awesomeness. It had Sam Raimi at the helm though, and it was a real passion project for him, as most of his cast quit before the film ended (only Bruce Campbell stood by him), and it went on to spawn two sequels (I guess this’ll be a third, and there’ve been rumors about doing another in the original storyline), so it was pretty awesome.

What’s Bad About It?

Remakes sorta suck balls.

Our Clever Prediction

It’s hard to say. The Evil Dead was a cult classic, and it isn’t part of the original series. If it were another with Bruce Campbell and directed by Sam Raimi, I’d have some hope, but right now I just don’t know. Maybe it’ll be good. Likely it’ll be made for next to nothing, and will bring in some cash, so it should at least be profitable.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.