Evidence (2012)

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Evidence is a bit of a twist on the ‘Found Footage’ style of film that has been popular in recent years. A detective comes across a crime scene where the only evidence is the victim’s electronic devices, including a small camcorder and a cell phone. The footage on the devices are his only clues as to who the murderer is.

I’m honestly in love with this concept. There’s no trailer yet, and the film stars True Blood’s Stephen Moyer, so I have no idea if it’s going to be even halfway decent, but the idea seems like a cool twist on all the found footage stuff that I’ve had to suffer through at theaters since The Blair Witch Project.

If you reconstructed the footage on my phone you’d know that I’m likely the killer. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Evidence

Olatunde Osunsanmi is directing Evidence. He recently directed The Fourth Kind and wrote the story for Smokin’ Aces 2, so he’s clearly golden. The writer is John Swetnam, who has no other experience I can find. Crap. And I was hoping for something cool.

Evidence Trailer

Nope.

Evidence Release Date

TBA.

Pictures

Nopesy.

Who’s In It?

 Stephen Moyer … Detective Reese
  Radha Mitchell … Detective Burquez
  Torrey DeVitto
  Caitlin Stasey … Rachel
  Dale Dickey … Katrina
  Harry Lennix
  Aml Ameen … Detective Jenson (rumored)
  Nolan Gerard Funk
  John Newton … Lead Cop
  Christopher Alexander … Lead SWAT
  Alisha Seaton … Colleen Flynn
  Christopher Frontiero … Forensics Tech
  James Ryen … Tall Cop
  Albert Kuo
  Seth Bailey … Gerald Fleishman
  David Kim … Dead Steven
  Verity Branco … Olivia Spence

What’s Good About It?

The concept, in the hands of a true artist such as myself, would be both horrifying and thought provoking, and you would be reading breakdowns of all the wondrous things I’ve done with it for years.

What’s Bad About It?

The filmmakers don’t seem to have the talent that I clearly exhibit. I’m trying to be humble here, so I’ll also mention that my penis is 12 inches long (flaccid) and I can walk on walls like Spider-Man.

Our Clever Prediction

I don’t think Moyer has the type of star power to make Evidence a big hit, but it is a horror film, and it was likely made for about $40, so it should be profitable. I’m looking forward to seeing it, and then tearing it apart while I take a dump in the theater bathroom.

I do all my reviews from the shitting position. The shitting position! BRILLIANT! I should get paid extra for that awesome play on words.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won’t apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn’t read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.

1 COMMENT

  1. where are the comments, people?! if your reviews from the can don’t have the right stuff then they will be canned or if they have the right stuff then are they full of ….

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