A Dangerous Method (2011)


A Dangerous Method charts the true story of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, and how their tumultuous, but apparently not gay, relationship gave birth to modern psychoanalysis. Does it mean I’m gay because I immediately thought of their relationship as being gay?

As I type this on my wiener machine, I mean computer (Freudian slip?) I can’t help but think that most doctors are gay. “Turn your head and cough.”

Right, like I’m going to turn my head away while a dude is handling my junk.

So the movie is about the two father’s of modern craziness, and therefore mortal enemies of Tom Cruise, who as we all know is a member of the faith created by C.S. Lewis.

Jung and Freud had a patient/student named Sabina Spielrein, and it appears, from Wikipedia, that she had first been a patient of Jung, and then later went on to be a psychoanalyst herself, with some degree of fame to her name. She met Freud later, and Freud was sorta the man at the time. Freud was the mentor/teacher of Jung, and there may have been a bit of a love triangle between the three. Jung was believed to have had a romantic relationship with Spielrein, and there may have been something going on with Freud too. Spielrein formulated a theory that humans possess a sexual transformative side and a sexual destructive side, which she expressed before Freud published his findings on humans having a death wish, and Jung published his views about humans transforming. So she may have been an inspiration to both men.

The Scoop

This chair is uncomfortable. I’d use a metaphor to describe the agony my bum is experiencing, but you’ve all probably read Freud’s bullshit, and my discussing how a wooden chair is similar to something else often compared with wood (wieners) would likely be met with comical remarks about how I’m into dudes. But what if I was? Hmmm…? Then you’d have to feel bad. Cause it isn’t nice to mock a gay guy for being gay. I need something to clear up all this confusion I’m having…

There we go. I may have an occasional Freudian slip of homosexuality, but there’s no denying the viagra-like power of Olivia Wilde. I’m currently capable of hammering a nail through a steel bar.

What was I talking about? Oh, right. A Dangerous Method. The film is directed by Dick Cronenberg. I mean David Cronenberg. Penis. Gay sex. I CAN’T STOP. The film is yet another collaboration between Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen, who is playing Freud, and Michael Fassbender, aka Magneto, is playing Jung. Keira (bringing me back to heterosexuality… now) Knightly is playing Speilrein.

Is it gay that dildos… dildoes… whatever, remind me of penises?


Who’s It For?

No rating yet, but probably R.


Movie Release Date

TBA 2011, probably award season, when all the great dicks make their appearance. I mean great MOVIES.

Who’s In It?

Viggo Mortensen … Sigmund Freud
  Keira Knightley … Sabina Spielrein
  Michael Fassbender … Carl Jung
  Vincent Cassel … Otto Gross
  Sarah Gadon … Emma Jung

Related Movies

A History of Violence, Eastern Promises, Atonement

What’s Good About It?

It’s about Freud! Talk about an action movie. Action… of the MIND.

To properly show you how Freudian slips happen, I’ll write a few innocuous sentences that have sexual language or imagery, then I’ll have you repeat a sentence, and I have no doubt you’ll say something dirty that exposes a deep seated desire that you may not have admitted to yourself yet.

I was walking down a trail the other day, with trees on either side of me. The trees were long, hard and the bark seemed to having pulsing veins. There was snow atop the uppermost branches, as if the tree was worked into a frenzy and erupted, covering itself in the process.

Now repeat this sentence aloud:

I like having penises in my butt cause I’m gay.

It worked, didn’t it? You totally just admitted something to yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise. You’re welcome.

What’s Bad About It?

My only gripe is that this is yet another period piece for Keira Knightley. What’s wrong with today? Huh?

Our Clever Prediction

Oscar nominations are essentially a given for a Cronenberg film at this point. I, for one, will love it. Much as I love having sexual relations with women. I mean men!

Wait. I meant women.