The Son of No One is a crime drama starring Channing Tatum. HEY! Where are you going? You should still read the preview. I’m going to mock. MOCK!
So Channing Tatum is a young cop who has a secret. And this secret could destroy the life he has built for himself.
‘Lord? Please let it be a sex change secret.’
How the hell did they get Al Pacino? Will he just do anything for a paycheck? I can buy Katie Holmes, but Al Pacino?
Dito Montiel wrote, directed, and produced The Son of No One. He last directed Tatum in Fighting, which was an Oscar winner, right? I don’t know his other work, but really, does it matter? Once you make a film like Fighting, you get a pass for life to do whatever you want. It’s this generation’s Godfather. Or I should say, it would be this generation’s Godfather if not for The Son of No One, which will be the Godfather for the Lady Gaga generation.
Who’s It For?
Movie Release Date
Who’s In It?
Channing Tatum … Jonathan White
Al Pacino … Detective Stanford
Juliette Binoche … Lauren Bridges
Brian Gilbert … Young Vinnie
Jake Cherry … Milk
Sean Cregan … Martinez
Simone Joy Jones … Young Vicky
The Godfather (clearly), Fighting
What’s Good About It?
Channing Tatum. How could you need another reason? Did you see GI Joe?
What’s Bad About It?
The film reminds me of my own orphaned childhood. I wasn’t really an orphan, but I did have a sex change operation.
Our Clever Prediction
Reviews from Sundance have just started coming in, but apparently people walked out. Lots of people. Someone actually called it an Exodus. Like from the Bible. When Moses led the… never mind. Let’s just say lots of people left, and most of them were people who were looking to buy the film and distribute it. No doubt the film will still get a release, since there has to be money made with a film starring Al Pacino, Channing Tatum, and… Tracy Morgan? In a dramatic performance? Is this a joke from 30 Rock? I can NOT wait to see this film. When it’s released. On demand probably. And I won’t pay for it. I’ll force your mom to order it.