The Last Exorcism is like the Exorcism of Emily Rose, only with a shakier camera, and more bendiness. I’ll tell you what, the next time the Olympics are on, I’m gonna throw a rosary at the girls gymnastics gold medalist. SHE’S A WITCH!! BURN HER!!
The Last Exorcism is produced by Eli Roth, so there should be no lacking of class and sophistication, and director Daniel Stamm has never done anything I’ve heard of, so two thumbs way up. A butt. How else to you explain all the bending?
The film was written by the team of Andrew Gurland and Huck Botko, whose last film, Mail Order Bride, made just over 62 THOUSAND dollars. Which is pretty good, considering the opening weekend was just over a thousand. I’m just glad a pair of comedic writers were chosen to script a religious horror film.
I decided to post this version of the trailer because of the amazing introduction. Enjoy:
Who’s It For?
Movie Release Date
Who’s In It?
I wouldn’t call them notable, but…
Patrick Fabian … Cotton Marcus
Ashley Bell … Nell Sweetzer
Louis Herthum … Louis Sweetzer
Iris Bahr … Iris
Caleb Jones¹ … Caleb Sweetzer
Tony Bentley … Pastor Gerald Manley
Exorcism of Emily Rose, Mail Order Bride, The Exorcist, Hostel,
What’s Good About It?
The Exorcist remains my favorite horror film. I’ve read the book, which also freaked me out, and that Catholic upbringing did a real number on me. I’m afraid to play with wigi boards. So I don’t know how to spell the board game. Sue me. (please don’t sue me)
What’s Bad About It?
Eli Roth sucks. The writers and director only have experience in failure. The concept has been done to death. You’ll leave the film possessed with the desire to eat chocolate ice cream. You’ll get fat, die of gingivitis, and the film will claim many, many lives. Never underestimate the power of gingivitis. (this preview brought to you by Listerine!)
Our Clever Prediction
I am BEGGING each and every one of you to see this movie. Horror films always have sequels. I want to see the title to the second LAST exorcism. I’ve brainstormed up a few possibilities, so bear with me:
The REAL Last Exorcism: This Time We Mean It
Prequel: The Second to Last Exorcism
The Everlasting Exorcism: Brought to you by Gobstoppers
The Last Exorcism 4: in 3D!
The Last Exorcism 2 The Streets
The Fast Exorcism
The Last Exorcism 14: Hindu Exorcising
The Last Exorcism 48: Pilates
The Cast Exorcism: Documentary of Broken Bones
The Channing Tatum Exorcism: Yo, girl, for reals.
Last Exorcism (See? With no ‘the’ it’s different, only for use in remake)
I am apparently anticipating one of the longest running horror film series of all time.