The Beaver (2011)


The Beaver, which I swear I wrote a preview of before, is about an executive who adopts a beaver hand puppet as his voice to the world. Much as I have adopted Starseeker.

The Beaver is a comedic return for Mel Gibson, who shot the film before spiraling out of control and warning his girlfriend about the dangers of dressing like a whore. (it’s a serious danger, someone may offer money for sex, or not take her seriously for the things she thinks. Wait, she’s a woman, never mind.)

Walter Black, at the suggestion of a psychiatrist, starts wearing a hand puppet. It just so happens it’s a beaver, which is, as we all know, associated with a woman’s vagina. I believe the reason for this is because it eats wood. Wood, as we also should all know, is a slang term for a man’s erect penis. And since the natural surrounding (heh) of an erect penis is a vagina, they call a vagina a beaver. I prefer to call them by their God-given name, “The reason I listen.”

The Scoop

The Beaver was supposed to come out this past fall, but with the crazy that is Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster’s directorial debut has been delayed. There are various reports as to when it may come out, with some saying January of 2011, and others saying April. I, for one, hope for January, as it is sooner, and this film looks amazing.


Who’s It For?



Movie Release Date

May 6, 2011.

Who’s In It?

Mel Gibson … Walter Black
Jodie Foster … Meredith Black
Jennifer Lawrence … Norah
Anton Yelchin … Porter Black
Zachary Booth … Jared
Riley Thomas Stewart … Henry Black

Related Movies

Hmmm, what other films has Mel Gibson gone insane in? Oh, right, all of them. But specifically, let’s say What Women Want, Maverick, and The Bounty.

What’s Good About It?

I like Mel Gibson, and while I don’t like some of the things he’s said, I don’t think it’s indicative of the man as a whole. Everyone says bad things from time to time. For instance, everything I’ve ever said in a positive light about Canada. All lies and regrets.
I also think it should be pointed out that there are a number of people in Hollywood, including Jodie Foster, who have stood by Gibson, even with everything that’s happened. I know that Robert Downey Jr. has been a big fan since Gibson gave him a chance in The Singing Detective, which was back when Downey was at his lowest. I think Gibson is a pretty good guy for the most part, and really does a lot for people, helping them when they’re in need and such, and he’s just gone through a really bad period. I’m not excusing him, but I want to give him another chance. His films are good. I want to see more. And seriously, if we based our film choices on the quality of person the actors are, we’d never see anything.

What’s Bad About It?

It may not get much of a release, and will likely get panned by the critics cause of anti-Mel sentiments.

Our Clever Prediction

I’m hoping for a good box office and a return to form for Gibson. I expect the film to be good, regardless of the money it brings in.


  1. I am disappointed in Jodie Foster, I thought she was better than this. How can anyone work with Mel Gibson? He is a violent drunk, user, abuser, womanizer, bigot,and hypocrite, and hates anyone who isn’t like he is. I’ll definitely be sure not to see this movie.

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