The Apparition (2011)

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The Apparition is about a young couple haunted by something wicked after a fail experiment in college.


You know what would be awesome? If the ‘experiment’ was Ashley Greene doing the nasty with a girl.

Except it shouldn’t be a fail experiment.

Nevermind.

There aren’t many details released about the film yet, but that wonderful one sentence I’ve found has me thoroughly excited.

Trailer

The Scoop

The Apparition is writer/director Todd Lincoln’s first theatrical film. He was a production assistant on From Dusk til Dawn back in 1996, and then he helped produce something I’ve never heard of, but he has no other credits that I can find.

I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THIS FILM.

The best thing is that the producers are clearly jackasses. You can tell they sat around doing cocaine and said, “This film really needs a big star. What’s big with the kids these days? Twilight? Okay, let’s get the girl whose 8th from the top from that. What else is big? Harry Potter? Okay, let’s also get the guy whose roughly 8th from the top of that one too. Man, making movies is hard work.”

Then they did more drugs. And I’ve now reported the entire process to you. You are welcome.

Who’s It For?

No rating yet, but either PG-13 or R. I could see PG-13 for this, since the fans of Ashley Greene and Tom Felton (if either of them has actual fans) would have to be young.

Movie Release Date

September 9, 2011.

Who’s In It?

Ashley Greene … Kelly
Tom Felton … Patrick
Sebastian Stan … Ben
Julianna Guill … Lydia
Rick Gomez … Mike
Luke Pasqualino … Greg

Interesting Fact

A Marion Apparition is when a person witnesses the appearance of the Virgin Mary.

This film probably doesn’t have one of those, but my waffle this morning totally did. Eggo, you did it again!

Related Movies

The Uninvited (originally titled Apparition), Poltergeist,

What’s Good About It?

I like ghosts. I can’t think of anything else good about this.

Uh, Ashley Greene is pretty.

What’s Bad About It?

The concept, story, acting, directing, and what the hell, the lighting. Damn gaffer isn’t going to do a good job.

Our Clever Prediction

I see this bombing, and bombing hard. I don’t give it more than one chance in a thousand of being a big hit.

Critics will hate it, I will loathe it, and none of you will see it.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.