Tanner Hall (2011)


Tanner Hall is the story of a group of young, female boarding school girls and the trials and tribulations they go through in adolescence. It almost sounds like the world’s best porn, but then you realize it’s about feelings n’ stuff.

The writers originally tried to make Tanner Hall a TV show like Dawson’s Creek, but after the networks passed, they took their story and made a movie. Huh.

Basically, there’s a good girl, a bad girl who gets them in trouble, other girls who have some role that I haven’t bothered to notice, and love, some drug use, and hopefully, a little nudity. Awesome.

Tanner Hall

Tanner Hall was written and directed by Tatiana von Furstenberg & Francesca Gregorini. I’ve never heard of them, but Furstenberg played the role of “younger woman,” in Dracula, so she HAS to be the best writer/director since Hitchcock.

Tanner Hall Trailer

Tanner Hall Release Date

September 9, 2011. Limited release.


Who’s In It?

 Rooney Mara … Fernanda
  Georgia King … Victoria
  Brie Larson … Kate
  Amy Ferguson … Lucasta
  Tom Everett Scott … Gio
  Chris Kattan … Mr. Middlewood

What’s Good About It?

It stars the new Lisbeth Salander, Rooney Mara, who looks way prettier in this than in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and if there’s anything I care about, it’s girls looking pretty.

What’s Bad About It?

Chick movie. Girls in boarding schools should only be used in stories with extensive shower scenes.

Our Clever Prediction

I’m not sexist. I’m actually very sensitive.

In my PANTS. What? I’m not a jerk, I’m just brutally honest. Also, I want to see naked girls everywhere I go. I won’t rest until my dream becomes a reality.

On a serious note, Tanner Hall will likely become a cult classic for teenaged girls. So I will LOVE IT.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.