Incredible Hulk Review

carl November 3, 2008 Comments Off

Time to review another so called summer “Blockbuster” movie, but this time the gloves are off.

The Scoop

Fugitive Dr. Bruce Banner must utilize the genetic accident that transforms him into a giant, rampaging hulk to stop a former soldier that purposely becomes an even more dangerous version. Or so they say.

The Truth

The Incredible Hulk is yet another Hollywood love story based upon the life of a superhero. The entire plot is dull, unoriginal and lackluster from start to finish. There is no element of surprise to the film, and if you saw the trailer on TV, thats all you needed to see.

You are tortured with watching Edward Norton {who is one of my favorite actors} uncomfortably interact with Liv Tyler. There is no chemistry, nor did I feel was there any real reason to get into the love angle so deeply in the film. We get it, they love each other, we want to see Hulk smash stuff, not struggle with his inner emotions.

Even more torturous than the love story built up inside this supposed action flick? William Hurt and his awful porno moustache we have to stare at the entire film.

Of course, we are introduced to the Hulk’s new enemy The Abomination, after an hour and twently minutes of nothing much happening at all. The typical batlle begins, that really wasn’t anything spectacular and the CGI looked really bad. It all takes place at night, which made the special effects even more boring and unemotional.

Hulk wins, no big shocker there and we are left thinking to ourselves “What the hell did I just watch for 1.5 hours?”

Note to Bruce Banner : Try borrowing Dr. Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Ross’s pants in the future. Her hips and ass are more than big enough for you when you turn into Hulk. That woman’s backend is the real villain in this movie. Liv Tyler has gotten so fat she has to iron her pants in the driveway.

The Action

Action? What Action? Half way through the film we see a really dull battle between Hulk and the Army. Near the end you wake up to witness an anticlimatic battle between Hulk and The Abomination.

The Goofs

Anyone who knows even a little about Hulk, knows his superhuman abilities. He has almost unlimited strength and immunity. Why is it then, Hulk is forced to scale buildings rather than just leap onto them from the street? Hulk can jump miles in the air in a single leap, but not in this version of the movie.

The Verdict

Why did they remake that last pile of crap Hulk (2003)? The only thing different about this film was Hulk looked a little bit better because of the advancement of CGI. That didn’t make this a better film, just a better looking one.

How does that old saying go “You can’t polish an old turd”? It applies perfectly to Hulk 2008. I never thought they could make a worse superhero movie than Spider-Man 3, but Hulk 2008 tops it in all categories.

The Incredible Hulk is a dull movie, there’s not much here for anyone. Hulk fans will be disappointed.

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