Vin Diesel and Paul Walker return for another episode of Fast And The Furious, but this time its personal!
The Truth
Fast & Furious (Our Fast and Furious page) is best watched with a couple Tylenol, a cliche meter and most definitely the last showing of the night. Attempt to sit through the 7:00pm showing, and your be peppered with zit-covered teens, armed with Subaru and Neon key-chains, teenage girls screaming at Vin and Paul like they are the second coming of the Beatles, and young boys in track pants afraid to stand up because Michelle Rodriguez just did another sexy thing on the screen. (That was an intentional “pitching a tent” joke in case you missed it)
Maybe its just me, I’m approaching 40, but was there a need to keep the volume so high in the theater? I’m not watching Star Wars, there’s no Dolby 5.1 effect ready to blow my mind, just little cars that sound like 2 stroke lawnmowers. Alas, the Tylenol kicked in so by 1 hour in I was getting accustomed to the deafening noises and Vin Diesel one-liners.
The truth is, Fast & Furious had no purpose. I am unclear as to why they did another film, and apparently the writers were as well.
Fast & Furious opens with Dominic (Diesel) behind the wheel during an impressive heist. Toretto’s girlfriend Letty (Rodriguez.. SHAWING) is left for near dead. Toretto grows a pair, leaves sugar-plumb for her own good, so that she no longer has to live life as a fugitive.
What the bad guys don’t know, is that after attacking Letty (fatally) Dominic now has revenge on his mind. Enter Paul Walker, who happens to be chasing the same people who Toretto is after, and voila.. we have a plot. Or do we?
After many minutes of car chases, hot chicks and fights .. its all over but they leave us with an opening for yet another sequel … or so the rumor goes
The Action
Hey, lots of action in the film, so can’t knock it for that.
What’s good about it?
The girls, the cars, the chases, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster
What’s bad about it?
The acting, the premise, girlfriends dying, Paul Walker’s good looks, drifting, flames coming out of exhaust and cars that fucking wheelie.
Cliche of the film
Brian O’Conner: This is where my jurisdiction ends.
Dominic Toretto: And this is where mine begins.
You’ll Like It If
Well, fans of the first one seem to really like this one.
Gayest Moment Of The Film
Toretto pulls a fucking wheelie in his car and splits a gun-toting Hispanic in half. Yeah, could the writers treat me like any more of an idiot? Why not give just him a mullet, and call him MacGyver for fuck sakes?
Is he super-human now? Gay.
The Verdict
Its a rental, and a pretty shitty one at that. The car racing scenes get old after awhile, and how much of this tough-guy bullshit can I really take? Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are half Jedi, half Ninja who take on the world without a scratch, and all while defying gravity.
If you can handle this in a movie not labeled as a Sci-Fi or Fantasy, you’ll probably enjoy the film. If you are a teenage girl, you’ll drool over Walker and Diesel I’m sure, but for the rest of us… Fast & Furious was quite horrible.
Lord Have Mercy
They are making another sequel to this franchise slated for release in 2011.
Tags: Action 2009, April 2009, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Michelle Rodriguez Movie 2009, Paul Walker, Paul Walker Movie 2009, Thriller 2009, Vin Diesel Jordana Brewster Movie 2009, Vin Diesel Movie 2009