2012 Movie Review

It was with a great displeasure I encountered the movie ’2012′ late this morning. My senses are still tingling with numbness, that can usually be brought on by the onslaught of idiocy, only a Roland Emmerich film could deliver.

They say stupidity comes with a price, and in this case it is the 158 minutes of unintentional comedy the film 2012 delivers. Get ready to have your senses bombarded with tons of special effects, hoping you miss the enormous flaws with the film.

2012 Movie Review

Lets start with the main characters, and how we should care about him and his family, rather than the other 6 billion people on earth. 30 minutes into the film, I’m rooting for any apocalyptic event to take the lives of John Cusack and Amanda Peet. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen, so we are forced to watch the stupidity of he and his family narrowly escaping earthquakes and tidal waves.

2012 keeps coming at you, asking you to seriously consider what is happening on screen, without any other reason than keeping in mind Roland Emmerich thinks you are an idiot who will fall for this shit.

Hell, you know all these characters because you’ve seen them in all his films. The hero, the lady, the love, the kids.. its all the same in every one of his films. There is nothing new here, nothing at all.

I’ve never fast-forwarded through a movie like this one before. I’ve never witnessed such retarded writing, characters and pathetic situations. Correction, not since Emmerich made us his last shit-sandwich Independence Day, have I seen such a awful movie.

The Action in 2012

The 2012 Movie has lots of action, but action of the ridiculous sort.

The Laughs

To me, the film 2012 was a comedy, not a drama nor a thriller. I laughed from start to finish, even though that wasn’t the intent of the film.

2012 : The Effects

2012 had fantastic effects. Great explosions and scenes of cities collapsing.

What’s good about 2012?

The special effects of 2012 were the only redeeming qualities of the film.

What’s bad about 2012?

158 minutes of near misses, cheezy acting and idiotic situations. Throw in a Cusack into this recipe, and voila.. a shit movie. When the young actors playing the twin Russian boys spoke, I laughed out loud. Nice accent, you douche-bags.

You’ll Like 2012 If

Hey if you love a movie with no real thought, shit writing and smothered in special effects, 2012 is for you. You probably liked Independence Day as well.

What I learned

I’ll never watch another Roland Emmerich film again.

The Verdict

A great big budget on effects, and a shit plot with zero attention to detail. Without a doubt, 2012 was one of the worst films of 2009. I feel dumber for being bombarded with 158 minutes of cinematic vomit.