2012 Movie Review

It was with a great displeasure I encountered the movie ‘2012′ late this morning. My senses are still tingling with numbness, that can usually be brought on by the onslaught of idiocy, only a Roland Emmerich film could deliver.

2012 Movie Review

They say stupidity comes with a price, and in this case it is the 158 minutes of unintentional comedy the film 2012 delivers. Get ready to have your senses bombarded with tons of special effects, hoping you miss the enormous flaws with the film.

Lets start with the main characters, and how we should care about him and his family, rather than the other 6 billion people on earth. 30 minutes into the film, I’m rooting for any apocalyptic event to take the lives of John Cusack and Amanda Peet. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen, so we are forced to watch the stupidity of he and his family narrowly escaping earthquakes and tidal waves.

2012 keeps coming at you, asking you to seriously consider what is happening on screen, without any other reason than keeping in mind Roland Emmerich thinks you are an idiot who will fall for this shit.

Cinematic cliché after cinematic cliché fly at you, including Woody Harrelson as ‘that crazy guy’ Charlie Frost. You know the type, the same character Emmerich used in Independence Day, only it was Randy Quaid in that one.

Hell, you know all these characters because you’ve seen them in all his films. The hero, the lady, the love, the kids.. its all the same in every one of his films.

Anyways, instead of Area 51, Roland Emmerich bases the ’safe zone’ as Yellowstone Park, where the main characters happen to be heading at the time of the natural disasters.

You can figure out the rest, because that is all the film is about. 158 minutes of explosions, near misses and no accountability of anything else.

The Action in 2012

The 2012 Movie has lots of action, but action of the ridiculous sort.

The Laughs

To me, the film 2012 was a comedy, not a drama nor a thriller. I laughed from start to finish, even though that wasn’t the intent of the film.

2012 : The Effects

2012 had fantastic effects. Great explosions and scenes of cities collapsing.

What’s good about 2012?

The special effects of 2012 were the only redeeming qualities of the film.

What’s bad about 2012?

158 minutes of near misses, cheezy acting and idiotic situations. Throw in a Cusack into this recipe, and voila.. a shit movie.

You’ll Like 2012 If

Hey if you love a movie with no real thought, shit writing and smothered in special effects, 2012 is for you.

What I learned

I’ll never watch another Roland Emmerich film again.

The Verdict

A great big budget on effects, and a shit plot with zero attention to detail. Without a doubt, 2012 was one of the worst films of 2009. I feel dumber for being bombarded with 158 minutes of cinematic vomit.

Tags: 2012, Action 2009, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, John Cusack, Movie Review, November 2009, Sci-Fi 2009, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, Worst of 2009