A poster for Twilight, videos for Skyfall and Wreck-It Ralph, pics from Fun Size and Robocop, and a poster for Hitchcock!
Twilight: The Record Doth Scratch, Therefore Ruining the Music…. Part 2
Twilight: The Record Doth Scratch, Therefore Ruining the Music…. Part 2 has a new poster, and I’ve rooting for the ‘bad guys’ on the right. Let me break it down for you. Bella is a slut who bangs older dudes and dogs. She is so skanky she wants the sex more than her man. The first time she gets banged, as a teenager, she gets pregnant. Her ex-boyfriend, the dog, falls in love with, romantically falls in love with, her small child (pedophile), and her husband bit the umbilical cord to sever it.
On the other side you have people with fashion sense. WHO SHOULD I BE ROOTING FOR AGAIN?
That’s what I thought.
Skyfall
Skyfall has a couple new TV spots and they’re pretty badass. I like that in Skyfall Bond is a more subdued badass. He’s been that way since the reboot with Daniel Craig, but here he really seems to be a simple, tough dude. I like that. I LIKE IT.
Wreck-It Ralph
Yo’ momma calls me Wreck-It Brian, cause I wreck her vag. I pound her sweet, dripping sauce bucket so hard it’s like I’m Donkey Kong. Yo’ momma’s hurtin’ for a squirtin’. Houndin’ for a poundin’. Thirstin’ for a burstin’.
…
Your mom’s a slut.
ANYWAYS, Wreck-It Ralph has a new TV spot. Said TV spot has little to do with your mother on the surface, but beneath the surface she’s like a really popular video game, in that you tell her what to do and she sluttily does it.
This is actually a really cool TV spot. It’s all retro and I like that it’s completely a commercial for the fake video game and not for the film. I really want to see this. For reals. Fer shiz. Fo’ sho’.
The second video is a clip that introduces Sarah Silverman’s character, and I don’t like it. Cause I don’t like her.
Fun Size
Good lord Victoria Justice is insanely hot. This is just ridiculous. I’d give her a little fun size, if you know what I mean…
Actually, I don’t know what I mean. I think I just implied my penis is like other men’s, only smaller…
Changing gears… here are some new photos from Fun Size. They’re good. The kid looks like my soon-to-be hero, and Victoria Justice looks like my third wife.
Robocop
Robocop has some new photos that show more of the new suit, and I continue to not like it. I feel like they tried to make it look badass and failed miserably. The original is a classic, and needs no upgrades. I do like the pic of star Joel Kinnaman wearing the priest’s robe to hide the suit, but the one hand in a robot glove still sticks out. I feel like the only way you could make someone look like more of a pervert is if you put them in front of a van with “Free Candy” printed on the side.
Seriously, he’s half priest/half Michael Jackson. I’m Catholic and I can admit that.
The second half of the photos show Robocop at a rally, and his suit has the visor lit up, and admittedly it looks a bit better, though I’d still say I don’t love it. The gun is badass though, and I like that he pulls his firearm on protestors. I’d do that if I was a robotic cop.
Hitchcock
Hitchcock has a new poster, and I’m apparently not paying much attention to this film, as I looked at the poster and thought, “Hey, that looks like Jessica Biel.”
And it’s Jessica Biel. She’s in this, apparently. I knew Scarlett Johansson was in it, but not Biel. Two babes? I’m totes fer shizzle in!
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