New trailers for The Vow and The Darkest Hour, pics from The Great Gatsby, and casting for Lincoln and I, Frankenstein.

The Vow

Here’s a Vow. I VOW that THE VOW will be a piece of crap. I don’t know how I can vow that. But I vowed the crap out of it. Also, “Can a once in a lifetime love find a second chance?”

Just shit in my brain. It’s Channing Tatum. I’m sure she’ll love again.

The Darkest Hour

I’ll admit that I think the special effects for The Darkest Hour look pretty cool, but I worry that the plot is going to have more holes than Swiss Cheese.

More than a golf course?

Other stuff that has lots of holes in it? Meh. Screw it. This trailer is like the best and worst rave ever. And I’d know. Cause I’m all about the raving.

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby looks really good, and these photos only reinforce that. Now, if only it wasn’t in 3D…

Lincoln

Lincoln has cast David Oyelowo as a cavalryman. No doubt his real part is “black guy who shows how important Lincoln was because of his freeing the slaves,” but they just said cavalryman. I am so good at reading between the lines.

I, Frankenstein

I, Frankenstein has cast Yvonne Strahovski from NBC’s Chuck as the female lead. She’ll play a scientist (scientists look like her, right?) and ol’ Frankenstein will love her while fighting supernatural clans who both probably want his body.

Who wouldn’t want Frankenstein’s body?

OH! And does this make Strahovski’s character a necrophiliac? I think it does. I’d let her do me when I die. Man, I’m weird.