A new director boards Thor, new trailers for Battleship and The Devil Inside, pics from Underworld, and a production video from The Hobbit.
Do you like how I said there’s a new director BOARDING Thor 2? Like it’s a ship. If I had a boat, I’d name it Thor. And I’d strap a hammer to the front and ram other ships, saying, “I say thee NAY! Ye’ll not have the right of way in this here canal!”
I also intend to do a majority of boating on a canal, apparently.
Anyways, Alan Taylor, who has mostly worked on acclaimed HBO series like Game of Throne (Khal DROGO!), The Sopranos and OZ, has taken on the directing duties of Thor 2. I’m much happier with his inclusion than with Patty Jenkins. Sure, she was interesting, but he directed Game of Thrones! He knows dudes with swords, long hair and badassness. I’m happy. Maybe he’ll have Natalie Portman take an axe to the face.
When Battleship fails to do well at the box office, which it absolutely will, I’m going to say, “You’ve sunk my box office!” And you’ll all think I’m super clever. We’ll high five. Smile. It’ll be a nice moment. Then we’ll collectively moon Canada. Just point your ass north and fart. I do it every morning. And noon.
Anyways, Battleship has a new trailer, this time from Japan, so don’t worry about the Godzilla monster or lack of intelligible language. It’s just Japan’s way of being different. Hipsters.
This The Devil Inside trailer starts with a conversation I’ve had soooo many times. About my mom killing people during an exorcism.
Except in my case it was during my baptism. And I was totally not crying. I’ve only cried twice in my life. Once when I heard the Canadian national anthem, and the other when I read a poem by Robert Frost. I won’t tell you which poem, but it was moving.
Anyways (I’m doing a lot of “Anyways…” today) here’s a new trailer for The Devil Inside. It might make you cry. Cause it’s so moving.
Underworld: Awakening has a couple new photos, and they’re all pretty standard, except for the one with a guy holding a big ol’ gun. “Don’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has a new production video, this time about the beauty and majesty of New Zealand. It’s not all that awesome, but if you have a nerd boner for The Hobbit like I do, then you’ll want to watch.
Pants on, boys. Pants on.