New TV spots for The Amazing Spider-Man, The Watch and The Campaign, film clips for Ted, a teaser for the Twilight trailer, posters for Total Recall, Man of Steel score news, posters for Total Recall, an AWESOME new trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, and a picture from Maleficent.

The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man has a new TV Spot that really goes out of its way to tell us Peter Parker will one day be a hero. Well, they technically focus on him being ‘great,’ but whatevs. The one thing that is really good about this spot is they show a bit more of Uncle Ben, who has thus far been mostly ignored in the trailers/TV Spots. HE’S CENTRAL TO THE STORY DARN IT.

The Watch

The new TV Spot for The Watch also features a lot more Uncle Ben.

HAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I’m so humorous. It’s like I’m Chris Rock or something. No. There’s no Uncle Ben, but there is a bit of funny stuff, and I’m actually thinking there may be aliens in my neighborhood. Except they’re from Mexico. Which is cool. At least they’re not Canadians.

The Campaign

The Campaign has a new TV Spot as well, because today is international TV day or some shit, and it doesn’t show too much new stuff, which is good since this film likely has 8 laughs, and I’ve seen 7. I do like that Zach Galifianakis is essentially just a nice, naïve guy in the film. He’s just good. Like me. But I don’t have that sweet mustache. Yet. (come on, puberty. Show me the money!)

Ted

Ted‘s new film clips are awesome. Mostly because you can totally tell they edited these clips down. And they’ve taken out most of the funny stuff. I hope.

Ted Film Clips by TheMovieBox

Twilight: Don’t Fart in my Face and Call it Perfume

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 makes me wonder WHY do they hate Dawn, and HOW are they going to break her? Is it by making her watch this shitty film? Cause that would do it.

Oh, and here’s a teaser for the trailer that’ll come out tomorrow. Cause that’s going to be a terrible day.

Man of Steel

In news that one of you might give a turd fucker about, next summer’s Man of Steel, the new Superman film, will have legendary Hans Zimmer composing the score. Zimmer is one of the top dudes right now, and he’s composed the scores for Christopher Nolan’s Batman films, so this seems like a natural fit.

This news only really matters to me, as I know a girl who always puts out when she hears a score by Hans Zimmer. Her name? YO MAMMA.

Oh, SNAPDRAGON.

Total Recall

I was just starting to get sick of these new Total Recall posters, as they don’t really say much about the plot of the film, but then they had to go and put a couple bikini clad babes on one, and I immediately stood at attention.

And I’m still sitting…

IT’S AN ERECTION JOKE. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP EXPLAINING THESE JOKES TO YOU? Dang Canadians.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

The Dark Knight Rises

HOLY FREAKING BALLS this new trailer for The Dark Knight Rises is sweet. I mean… I’m insanely excited. Bane acts like a total badass, Batman is angry, and this is awesome awesome awesome. That’s THREE times the awesome of most films. THREE TIMES.

Maleficent

Maleficent is a new Sleeping Beauty film that focuses more on the villain, who is name… Maleficent. Yeah. Sorta on the nose there. But when you cast Angelina Jolie you let her be the star. Right?