A new featurette for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, an Avengers TV Spot, film clips for Men in Black 3, a trailer for The Expendables 2, and a couple of Spider-Man pics.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I have to admit this featurette for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. They start off with, I believe, talking about the actual president, but then producer Tim Burton talks about Lincoln’s mom being killed by a vampire, and they say it with such a straight face that I can’t help but believe it. The computer never lies.

Therefore, we now know Abraham Lincoln really was a vampire hunting badass. Also, he had a 10 year affair with Porky the Pig. The COMPUTER NEVER LIES.

The Avengers

The Avengers comes out Friday, and it is so awesome there’s yet another TV spot.

How do I know it’s awesome? CAUSE I JUST WATCHED IT SUCKERS. I’ll pretend it’s because of the interwebs and not a buddy of mine who is more important than I, but nonetheless I can say it actually exceeded my expectations and blew my freaking mind. It’s essentially nonstop action, and I APPROVE WHOLEHEARTEDLY. And it isn’t just the Hulk who kicks all kinds of butt; it’s everyone. Every Avengers has their moment to shine and it is super cool. SUPER COOL.

Men In Black 3

Men In Black 3 has a few… I really enjoyed these…

Nope. Can’t say it. I can’t pretend these Men in Black 3 film clips are good, or cool, or whatever. Cause they’re not. Just weep for your children’s minds, cause they’ll probably like this shit.

TAKE THEM TO THE AVENGERS.

The Expendables 2

The Expendables 2 has a new preview for a trailer, but it is LOUD.

You’ll understand when YOU WATCH IT.

The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man hasn’t really shown too much of The Lizard yet, which I think is likely a good idea, since they probably are waiting for the CGI to be closer to being finished to unveil very much, but since there’s going to be a new trailer tomorrow, they thought they’d get us all excited by giving a few new views of the Lizard, and in one he’s wearing his lab coat!!!