Casting news for The Counselor, head shaving news for Mad Max: Fury Road, a trailer trailer for Resident Evil, a new film clip for The Amazing Spider-Man and Oblivion starts shooting.

The Counselor

Ridley Scott’s next film is going to be a big departure from Prometheus, as he’s making the Cormac McCarthy film The Counselor, which is about a lawyer trying to make a little cash in the drug business without getting dragged too far in. It doesn’t work out the way he wants. So things get crazy.

Anyways, in addition to Michael Fassbender being the lead, Penelope Cruz is going to be adding a little sexiness to the film. She may also act. Not sure. I’ve only ever seen the sexiness. No word about what her character’s name or role will be, but probably “Sexy chick.” Brad Pitt, Cruz’s husband Javier Bardem and Cameron Diaz will also be in the film.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road is going to star Charlize Theron and Bane. I mean Tom Hardy.

I meant Bane.

Anywho, the film is set in a similar world to the other Mad Max films, with car chases and crazy hairdos, but none of those ‘dos are quite as extreme as Theron’s who has shaved her head for the film. COME ON. She’s hot. Let her keep those beautiful long blonde locks, and shave her…

Never mind.

Her pubes, okay? THERE, I SAID IT. I WANTED TO KEEP THIS CLEAN, BUT YOU WOULDN’T LET ME.

Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution will have a new trailer on Thursday, but the filmmakers want you all to get frickin’ excited now. So get excited by this crappy trailer for a trailer, bitches.

The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man has a new film clip that FINALLY shows us what we’ve all been waiting for: Spider-Man acts like a dick and breaks a basketball hoop. FINALLY. Sheesh. Can I get an Amen?

Oblivion

Okay, so it turns out I haven’t written a preview for Oblivion yet. Dang. I’ll have it up next week. The short version is it’s a science fiction film starring Tom Cruise from the director of Tron: Legacy about Earth being mostly destroyed by radiation, people living in cloud cities, and Tom Cruise saves the world or some such nonsense. Sounds good.

Anyways, the film has officially started shooting, which can be evidenced by this photo of either just Tom Cruise, or possible Maverick (HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?) staring at the sky.

I WANT IT TO BE MAVERICK FIGHTING ALIENS SOOOOO BAD. THAT WOULD BE THE MOST LEGEN… WAIT FOR IT… ARY FILM EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Oblivion