Trailers for Hit & Run and Frankenweenie, a film clip for The Watch, posters and featurettes for The Amazing Spider-Man and a pic from Maleficent.
Hit & Run
Hit & Run has a very sweet new Red Band trailer. Well, it’s sweet for at least 5 seconds, then it’s mostly red band stuff. There’s a lot of buttfucking and rape talk in it…
I’m going to come clean with you, I don’t think Frankenweenie is going to do very well with kids. Tim Burton gets a lot of love from some people, and a degree of that love is well-deserved, but this shit does not feel right for a child. It does not. And it gets gross btw.
Fun fact: my family crest is the real Chinese symbol for shut up and dance. Just saying.
CAUSE MY CREST IS A TIGER WITH WINGS THAT ARE ON FREAKING FIRE.
Just like the jackets for The Watch. I’m laughing quite a bit at this film, and it’s all on Vince Vaughn. The man has still got it!
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Amazing Spider-Man has an absolutely horrific new IMAX poster and an equally horrific new featurette about Peter Parker and his skateboarding ways. Ugh. They are out of touch if they think the kids these days are into skateboarding. Tap dancing has made a comeback and they need to get with the times.
For they are a-changing. Also, I don’t think Andrew Garfield is a world-class athlete. Just a guess.
There is also a featurette on the new suit, which is pretty close to the original while still shitting on it just enough to be a point of concern for nerds.
I DON’T LIKE IT.
Maleficent has a new pic of Angelina Jolie, and I realize it must look like she’s on wires, but those are actually holding her to the ground.
In real life Ms. Jolie can fly. LIKE AN EAGLE.