Posters for Pirates, Fast Five and The Smurfs, a trailer for Cars 2, and I get my Canadian hate on. To clarify, I don’t act like a Canadian in a rage (I’d never emulate a subhuman species), rather I rage against Canada.
Pirates of the Caribbean
There’s a new banner poster for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and I think they’re really trying to tell me something with this. Hmmm… Could it be that Jack Sparrow is in the film, and we should go see it because we like him? Yep. That’s it. Totally called it.
Fast Five
Fast Five has an international poster, and I like how in foreign countries, where English is still spoken, the film is called Fast and Furious 5. Not just Fast Five. I’m not totally sure which country this is for, although at the bottom is the website, which has that stupid ‘lefilm’ thing, so I’d think France, but then it’s a .com website, and not .fr. What gives? Also, I should point out that Vin Diesel isn’t paying attention. Paul Walker has clearly already seen the bad guy, whereas Diesel is looking the wrong way, not pointing his gun, and he’ll probably get shot. Such is the life of a d-bag.
Smurfs
The terrible-idea Smurfs movie (terrible-idea not because it’s a Smurfs movie, which is a great idea, but rather because it’s half CGI/half live action) has an international poster too. Did I say Smurfs? I meant Los Pitufos. What? Why would they change the name of the Smurfs for an international audience? It’s a made up word. How do you translate gibberish? This is stupid and makes me mad. On the other hand, I like the way Los Pitufos rolls off the tongue. I don’t speak Spanish, so I have no idea how to pronounce it, but the way I do it, it sounds awesome. (note: the way I pronounce Los Pitufos is very similar to Quasimodo, what with my madness. Oh, but blend Quasimodo with taco and other racist things I can say about Mexico.)
Cars 2
A full trailer is finally up for Cars 2, and I think it looks amazing. Just… amazing.
Canada can Suck it
I don’t really have anything specific to say about the evil that is Canada, but I found this, and I find it most humorous. MOST HUMOROUS.
