New pics for Jack Ryan, film clips for Butter and Resident Evil, Sinister TV spot and Hobbit trilogy news!

Jack Ryan

Jack Ryan is a cool dude. Not as cool as me, but still cool. He rides a motorcycle, wears long sleeved shirts with the sleeves pushed up a bit, and bosses Spock around.

That’s this film, right? Whatever.

Regardless, I’m cooler. I ride a FLYING motorcycle, invented the short sleeved shirt (no pushed up sleeves necessary) and I boss Luke Skywalker around.

SUCK ON THAT. Jerk.

Butter

Butter is apparently making good use of Hugh Jackman’s skills as an actor. It makes him info a total moron and liar, WHICH I BET HE IS NOW THAT I’VE SEEN HIM PORTRAY THE PART SO WELL.

I think he’s banging Jennifer Garner, and she got him to say all these lies about the little black girl who is adopted by Cher from Clueless and Rob Corddry.

Wolverine is such a dick.

Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution has a new film clip that is either insanely edited or this film is going to reach new levels of creative stupidity. Seriously. This is essentially a music video, except it makes less sense. At the very least you know this will be a battle for the ages as Alice and Ada Wong take on two of the axemen from the last film. I love that you can see how the director had some good ideas but nowhere near the talent to take his time and do it right. This movie is going to be amazing.

Sinister

Sinister has a new TV Spot that makes me think this film is nothing like The Ring, except in that it is exactly like The Ring in every way except that it’s not as good and won’t make as much money.

The Hobbit

The Hobbit has some new stuff coming out, and I’m trying to remember if I have this all straight. This December the first part, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, comes out. I don’t think that one is going to be any different that originally planned, but now that they’re making three films instead of two, the second is going to have a fair bit changed. I assume.

I believe the second film, which is still set to be released in December of 2013, was originally going to be called The Hobbit: There and Back Again, but now that’s the name of the third film, and the second film will be called The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

This is some unprecedented shit. They’re partway through making these films and just decide to make more? Craziness. Oh well, more Hobbitses isn’t a bad thing in my mind.

The third film is slated to come out July 18, 2014. So not a long wait after The Desolation of Smaug.