A preview video of the new Captain America trailer (it’s like a preview within a preview, sorta Inceptionish), possible casting for Akira, genuine Jack The Giant Killer casting, and a new Hop trailer. Cause you needed more Russell Brand in your day.
Captain America
Captain America: The First Avenger is going to be terrible. You know this because they keep premiering things on Entertainment Tonight. I prefer movies that premiere stuff at Nascar, and Nascar is stupid. Before you take offense at my statements at look at the brief video below. See? I’m right about how bad this turd looks. Right as rain. Right as money soaked cocaine.
Akira
Albert Hughes’ upcoming adaptation of Akira is beginning to zero in on its stars. There are a few contenders at this point. For Tetsuo we might see Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield or James McAvoy. So gay vampire, Spider-Man, or Professor X. For Kaneda we might get Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake or Joaquin Phoenix. So Tron, Magneto, Captain Kirk, nSync, or that jag who pretended to be crazy for a year. This movie is going to be awesome. Oh, and they’re changing the location of the film from Japan to New York. Those of you hoping for a faithful adaptation can stop holding your breath and do something else more self destructive now. Like tear out your eyes or get a lobotomy.
Jack the Giant Killer
Jack the Giant Killer has found a man fit to be a king. (I’m trying to give you something interesting to read). Ian McShane, aka Al Swearengen, will be playing King Brahmwell. No doubt this means he’ll be a bad guy in the film. Cause it’s Ian McShane and he’s a good bad guy.
Hop
Combine Russell Brand and a live action/CGI film and you have evil. One part British asshat, one part terrible film genre. Based on this infallible logic we can infer that Hop is evil. If A and B then C. What? I read books n’ stuff. Anyways, this movie looks like the worst thing of the year, and this is a year with Russell Brand in a remake of Arthur. And Source Code is coming out soon.
ARGH!
