A new film clip from Chronicle, behind the scenes pics from After Earth, This Means War changes dates, Cormac McCarthy gets into the movie biz, and Chuck Norris betrays life. Why, Chuck, Why?

Chronicle

Man, these guys in Chronicle with superpowers use their abilities in the lamest ways. I would NEVER use my powers to make a girls skirt fly up and… expose… her panties…

Huh? Alright, so I would. Like you wouldn’t. Even the girls reading (alright, the girl) would probably find a Scottish wedding and go nuts.

Cause of the kilts.

After Earth

M. Night Shyamalan’s next film, After Earth, has a few behind the scenes photos up. The film stars Will Smith and his son Jaden. It’s set on a spaceship, and because this is a Shyamalan film, it mostly deals with the relationship between a son and his father. Go figure.

This Means War

This Means War has changed release dates by just a couple days so it can be out on Valentine’s Day. So if you’re in a three way (not the good kind) relationship and want a film to really showcase how it’ll never work, but with spies, then by all means spend your Valentine’s Day in a way to remember: watch a Reese Witherspoon movie.

Cormac McCarthy

Cormac McCarthy, the prize-winning writer of such books as The Road, No Country for Old Men, All the Pretty Horses and Blood Meridian, has apparently written a screenplay. Or at least he’s sold one on spec. It’s called The Counselor, and it’s about a lawyer who thinks he can make some money in the drug business without having anything come back to bite him in the keister. Guess what? It’s bites him. In. The. Keister.

I use the word ‘keister’ because, like Mr. McCarthy, I have an extensive vocabulary. You might say I’m a…

What’s the word?

Talky person.

The Expendables 2

So the news today about The Expendables 2 is that it’s going to suck. I say this because it’ll apparently be rated PG-13.

The best part of the original was watching Randy Couture do a Superman punch to Stone Cold Steve Austin while Austin was ON FIRE.

That can’t be done in a PG-13 movie. COME ON.

Oh, and who do was have to blame? Chuck Norris. Apparently Mr. Norris doesn’t like ‘hard language.’ What the fuck does that mean?

Oh, right. Words like ‘fuck.’ Anyways, he wouldn’t be in The Expendables 2 if there was so much awesome stuff, so he made the movie grow a vagina.

Alright, Canada. You can say it. America really sucks hard today because of this. It is no longer America – 1,000,000,000,000 Canada – 0

It’s now America – 1,000,000,000,000 Canada – 1

DANG IT. We had a shut out!