Movie news for Brave, Wrath of the Titans, Die Hard & More!

Flying Brian Banana Hammock February 23, 2012 1

Trailers for Brave and Wrath of the Titans, casting for The Lone Ranger, A Good Day to Die Hard and Osama Bin Movie, and a pic from The Three Stooges.

Brave

I really enjoyed this new ‘trailer’ for Brave, though it’s less of a trailer than just a clip. What it does well is showcase how Pixar is better than every other director. It’s entertaining, tells an incredible story through a combination of camera work and characters, and the red headed broad looks like she’d be hot if she were real. And that’s what America is all about.

Wait. What was I saying? Right. There’s a film clip/trailer for Brave below.

Wrath of the Titans

Wrath of the Titans has a new trailer, and to be fair, it’s kinda awesome. This is most likely because it’s relatively short, and is mostly action. Either way, it looks pretty cool. Here’s hoping it’s better than the first one. What’s that? Impossible? The first was just too good? Yeah. I guess you’re right…

NOT.

The Lone Ranger

It appears that the bad guy in The Lone Ranger will be William Fichtner. You’d know him from a ton of films, from The Dark Knight to Armageddon, and he’ll be playing Butch Cavendish. Who actually wouldn’t mind the Lone Ranger, only he feels it’s inaccurate to call him “Lone” since he has Tanto.

See, Butch was truly alone for a time, and he doesn’t think some glory HOG like that beautiful Lone Ranger should be shagging chicks using the pain he has for realsies. FOR REALSIES.

A Good Day to Die Hard

Yeah, the next installment in the Die Hard series is going to be called A Good Day to Die Hard. What? Was the hippy film idea scrapped? Tie Die Hard?

I really want a tie die shirt with John McClane’s face on it. I would be awesome. More awesome.

Anyways, since they introduced his daughter Lucy in the last one, it seems Jai Courtney has won the coveted role of John McClane’s son Jack. John is estranged from his son, who is even more hard-assed than his father. Oh, really? Cause I don’t think his son popped out a daughter as hot as Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who I believe I’ve established as my pick for hottest broad in town.

Osama Bin Movie

I hope stupid Kathryn Bigelow NEVER names her film about Osama Bin Laden, because my title, Osama Bin Movie, is WAY better. Anyways, her next film has cast Nash Edgerton, Jennifer Ehle and Harold Perrineau. No word on their characters, but it’s about Navy SEALS who took down Bin Laden, so the dudes are probably SEALS.

The Three Stooges

In general, I’m going to hope I don’t have to bring you much news from The Three Stooges. If you’ve seen the trailer you understand. I will, however, gleefully bring you any news that involves Kate Upton in a bikini. As a nun. I’m so confused and horny. And I feel ashamed. And horny. Mostly horny. She is hot. Anyways, here’s a pic of Ms. Upton, and future Mrs. Flying Banana Hammock, from the film.

One Comment »

  1. Dudley 'Booger' Dawson March 1, 2012 at 8:02 am -

    I think it’s time I gave you a new username….