Movie news for The Avengers, Battleship, The Five Year Engagement & More!

rock of ages poster
rock of ages poster

A poster for Rock of Ages, a trailer for The Five Year Engagement, TV Spots for The Avengers and Men in Black 3, and film clips from Safety Not Guaranteed, Battleship and Moonrise Kingdom.

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages has a new poster, and Alec Baldwin easily looks like the biggest rock star in this. And Julianne Hough looks hot and a bit photoshopped.

rock of ages poster
rock of ages poster

The Five-Year Engagement

The Five-Year Engagement has a new trailer, this time a red band one, so be prepared for some dirty talk. Mostly about peonies. And how that sounds like penises. I realize that doesn’t sell the film very well, since it’s actually a much funnier trailer than this would lead you to believe, but that’s what I chose to focus on. So suck it.

The Avengers

The Avengers has TWO new TV spots, and they continue the tradition of focusing on particular members of the team. This time we have the Hulk and Captain America. The Hulk one doesn’t show too much new stuff, but the Cap one at least shows that they’re trying to make him the leader of the group. Chris Evans doesn’t really pull it off, but he’s doing a decent enough job. I guess.

Men in Black 3

Men in Black 3 has a new TV Spot, but the only thing I took from it is that Will Smith looks stupid with a mustache. And he’s normally a pretty handsome dude. Too bad.

Safety Not Guaranteed

Safety Not Guaranteed is looking pretty good, though I wish the first film clip were different, since this clip was shown almost in its entirety in the trailer.


OH NO. It turns out the aliens in Battleship are douchebags. They have bad facial hair. And they aren’t dead when you think they’re dead. Douches.

It’s surprising that Rihanna is so upset about finding a douchebag. She dated Chris Brown.

Moonrise Kingdom

Moonrise Kingdom‘s first film clip is strange and weird. Which is not surprising, since this is a Wes Anderson film. And can we all agree this kid is a true gentleman? Flowers AND beef jerky? What a guy.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.