Movie News for November 5, 2010


Two trailers for films that are either currently, or at least once called, “Friends with Benefits.”

Cause I’m your friend with benefits.

The benefit being news. In a funny manner. Okay, not funny, but at least entertaining. Or at least not totally dry.

Well, at least it’s news!

Cept for the stuff that is a few days old. But that’s mostly a problem with Armstrong Dicksmasher. My stuff is always relatively new news.

No Strings Attached

The first of the two trailers recently out for a film once called “Friends with Benefits.” No Strings Attached goes first because they allowed the trailer to be embedded. And here it is.

Friends with Benefits

The other “Friends with Benefits,” this one has retained the title, although it loses points for not having a trailer that can be embedded, so you’ll have to go here to see it. It also loses points for having Justin Timberlake. He’s kinda douchey. I mainly say that cause I’m jealous. I want to bang Mila Kunis.

Spider-man Casting

Well, it looks like they’re closing in on their Uncle Ben and Aunt May for the reboot of Spider-Man. It appears negotiations are taking place for Sally Field to play Aunt May, so now I want to bang Aunt May, and Martin Sheen will play Uncle Ben. I’m not a hundred percent sold on Martin Sheen, as I feel he’s a bit of a jerk in real life, but it could still be cool.

For those who know the comics, a relatively new villain to be created is a character called Freak, who continually adapts when injured, so every time Spider-man beats he can’t be beaten that way again. The cool thing? Before becoming a supervillain, Freak was just a junky. He took the wrong drug when at a science lab, and it turned him into Freak. I wonder if Martin Sheen knows anyone who likes to take drugs?

That was a long setup for a stupid joke.

Dark Shadows

It appears that Johnny Depp and (wait for it) Tim Burton will be teaming up again. This time, for Dark Shadows. We’ve already previewed the film here, so it isn’t a total surprise, but it was more of a maybe before. Looks like Mr. Depp has signed for the project, and it should start next April. Depp will play Barnabas Collins, a vampire in Maine who is looking for his lost love. It’s based on a TV show by the same name.

Just Go With It

If it weren’t for Brooklyn Decker, I wouldn’t even post this trailer for Adam Sandler’s Just Go With It, but LOOK AT HER. Holy crap. Please God, make her a good actress. Well, not that good, but just good enough that someday she’ll think she can win an Oscar if she shows her cans. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Hall Pass

I previewed this about two and a half months ago, and what I said then still applies. The Farrelly brothers can make funny stuff, and their films can blow. Lets hope for more of the former. Check out the Trailer for Hall Pass.

I wish they didn’t still sell their films with There’s Something about Mary. That was forty years ago. Cameron Diaz is on Social Security.

Of, for Canadians, Social Security is something we give old women who laugh too much and still think they’re cute even way past their prime. I’m sure that’s what Obama is always talking about.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.