Movie news for Legacy of Secrecy, The Dark Knight Rises, Gravity, and more!

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Lil’ bits of news to tide you over through the weekend.

Legacy of Secrecy

It appears that Leonardo DiCaprio will star and produce Legacy of Secrecy, which is about a JFK conspiracy. Hey, it turns out it was just a nut. But I’m sure Obama or Bush was involved, at least in the minds of dumbass dipshit stupid shit fucks. Meaning Canadians.

The Dark Knight Rises

Michael Caine has said that The Dark Knight Rises will start shooting next May and finish in November. Apparently, he’ll see the script in January. This makes my peep rise. (I’m microwaving peeps right now. You know, Peeps? Those marshmallow bird things that old women eat at Easter? When you microwave marshmallows, they get bigger. But I was talking about my penis)

Gravity

Gravity is all an illusion. (we’re floating). Oh, and in the film world Robert Downey Jr. has dropped out of Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity, which for a time was pursuing Angelina Jolie, then Natalie Portman, then… I don’t remember, but it doesn’t sound nearly as exciting now. It’s supposed to be set in space. I’m thinking that Downey didn’t understand the… gravity of the situation.

That made sense in my head.

Dirty Sex is OK

The Weinstein Company is fighting the ratings on a few of their Oscar movies this year. The big one is Blue Valentine, in which (I’ve likely correctly surmised) Ryan Gosling buttfucks Michelle Williams on camera and donkey punches her. Apparently, the filmmakers felt this should not make the film’s rating NC-17. I’m just glad that instead of slightly modifying a film that barely qualifies as art, they fight the system, therefore garnering publicity for useless bullshit. High five!

Oh, and they’re also fighting the R rating for The King’s Speech, cause Colin Firth does swear quite a bit when he stutters. Or stammers, as the British apparently call it. Now, in a moment of triumph, I will direct you to my preview of the film. Look at the “Who’s it For?” section.

Who CALLED IT?

On the off chance that my streak continues, tonight’s lottery numbers are 5, 18, 22, 4, and 39. If you’re in a state, or country (looking at you, Canada) with a different amount of numbers, also try number 1-3, 6-17, 18-21, 23-38, and all numbers above 38. Except 69. Hehehehehehehehe.

Called it.

Harry Potter

I thought I should mention that I saw Harry Potter today and give it a less than ten word review:

Good.

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