Crawlspace (2012)

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crawlspace

Crawlspace is a horror film about a crawlspace. Well, it’s about a family that moves into a new house, and there’s an evil guy living in the crawlspace.

See? This is why I don’t move. I found a comfy place underneath a bridge (I’m a troll, clearly), and I don’t leave. The government wants me out? I eat the government. Superman wants me to leave? Well, I leave cause he’s Superman and I don’t fuck with him, but Superman is cool so I’m still under this sweet bridge. No bad guys in my crawlspace. That’s for shizzle.

In Crawlspace, the house has a bad history (NO WAY) that means the family probably shouldn’t have moved in. The family who lived there before had two kids drown in the pool out back, and the parents were forced to move because of a foreclosure. The new family appears to be taking advantage of the situation, at least to the father who lived there before.

The new family’s young daughter comes home from college for a bit to help with the move, but things are moved or missing, and things are working as they should be.

And there are unexplained footsteps. Could it be that someone is living in the crawlspace?

Man, that home inspector did a shitty job. The furnace works? Check. Guy living in the crawlspace? Meh, I won’t check.

What a failure.

Crawlspace

Josh Stohlberg is the writer/director of Crawlspace, with writing partner Nick Travella. Stohlberg is kinda taking a departure from his usual high art films for this lowly horror film. His writing credits on Piranha and Piranha 3DD mean he knows classic literature and post-modern…

I can’t do it. He’s a turd mouthed fuck butt.

Pictures

Crawlspace Trailer

Crawlspace Release Date

TBA

Who’s In It?

Lori Loughlin
  Steven Weber
  Paul J. Ballin
  Sterling Beaumon
  Jonathan Silverman
  Nicole Moore¹
  Steve Crest
  Larry Sullivan
  Leila Leigh
  Morgan Bertsch … Abby
  Raleigh Holmes
  Marguerite Nocera
  Shannon Welles
  Xander Stolberg

What’s Good About It?

What isn’t good about a film with Steven Weber, best known for his work on legendary sitcom Wings?

Oh, he’s the bad guy in this.

What’s Bad About It?

Steven Weber is far too likeable for me to be scared of him.

Our Clever Prediction

I don’t see Crawlspace making much money, but then I didn’t think I’d make much money selling my toenail clippings online, and I’m about ready to retire, so you never know.