Centurion (2011)

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Centurion is the story of a legendary (haven’t you heard?) legion of Roman soldiers who went missing without a trace. Based on the trailer, it appears that the incredibly hot Olga Kurylenko killed them. I’m often impressed by legendary fighters who all die at the hands of a woman. She probably beat them up, then broke a nail, waited for said nail to heal, then killed them. Plot uncovered.

What’s great about historical mysteries is that if you talk to an actual historian, it isn’t all that mysterious. They’ll say something along the lines of, “Well, we don’t have written records of this, but here’s exactly what happened…” they will proceed to accurately describe what happened, but morons in Hollywood who really liked Gladiator will decide that the case is still open to debate, and will come up with something ridiculous, that in no way would ever have happened. Historical inaccuracies aside, it looks like a better version of King Arthur. And I prefer Keira Knightley,

Movie Name Script

The film is written and directed by Neil Marshall, who will no doubt swear that the film is based on a true story. He’d directed such other historical films as Doomsday and The Descent 1 and 2.

{Movie Name } Trailer

Who’s It For?

R.

Movie Release Date

August 27

Who’s In It?

Michael Fassbender … Quintus Dias
Dominic West … Virilus
Olga Kurylenko … Etain
Noel Clarke … Macros
David Morrissey … Bothos
JJ Feild … Thax
Axelle Carolyn … Aeron
Dave Legeno … Vortix
Ulrich Thomsen … Gorlacon

Related Movies

300, King Arthur, Gladiator, The Descent, Doomsday

What’s Good About It?

The trailer makes the film look really cool. Everytime I watch it I want to see it more. Then I see that Neil Marshall is in charge. Wait, this goes in the next section…

What’s Bad About It?

Neil Marshall is in charge. Doomsday was a turd.

Our Clever Prediction

Michael Fassbender is a big up and comer in Hollywood right now. He was in 300, Inglorious Basterds, and he’s been cast as Magneto in the next X-Men film. And he’s German. What else do you need? Olga Kurylenko is unbelievably hot, especially naked, so 2 for 2 so far. Oh, Neil Marshall’s still in charge. It’s like those other two don’t even matter. I’m setting my expectations low. I’m sure I’ll see it, and maybe it’ll surprise me, but I’m not going into it with anything but the slightest hope.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.