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2013 Movie Releases

Ghost Team One (2013)

Ghost Team One is a spoof comedy of haunted house thrillers like Paranormal Activity. Read More »

Homefront (2013)

Homefront is a Jason Statham action film about a police officer in witness protection who makes a few hillbillies none to happy. They learn who he is and mess with his life. There’s something truly magical about this film. For reasons beyond me, James Franco is playing the bad guy, Gator, in the film. And while he definitely looks like ... Read More »

The Art of Steal (2013)

The Art of Steal is a heist flick about a washed up stunt driver/wheelman who teams up with some friends to steal the most valuable book in the world. The book? The Guttenberg Bible. So at the very least the criminals will go to hell for stealing THE BIBLE. So the daredevil is sort of a loser. His life hasn’t ... Read More »

All is Bright (2013)

All is Bright tells the story of an ex-con whose ex-wife is now with his old partner, and whose daughter thinks he’s dead because he’s a bum. He has trouble getting work after leaving prison, and therefore starts working with his partner again, except instead of doing something illegal they’re selling Christmas trees in NYC. So they’re both French Canadian ... Read More »

We Are What We Are (2013)

We Are What We Are is a new horror film about a family who have mostly kept to themselves over the years. But when a massive rain comes, the ensuing flood brings to light many secrets. Secrets better left hidden. So I’m not 100% sure what all the secrets are in the film, but the tale follows the Parker family, ... Read More »

Dallas Buyers Club (2013)

Dallas Buyers Club tells the true story of Ron Woodroof, a Texan electrician and party animal who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1986. He was given a month to live, and found hard to find medicine not only for himself, but also for other HIV-positive people who were struggling to find drugs and acceptance at the time. As he says ... Read More »

Plush (2013): Emily Browning stars in new R-rated Erotic Thriller

Plush is a new silly-looking R-rated thriller about a woman who has lots of sex and then regrets all of it, i.e. the story of every woman ever. It’s directed by Catherine Hardwicke, the director of the first Twilight movie. Like that film, this one is aimed largely at women, but more specifically, it’s targeted at women who’ve grown out ... Read More »

CBGB (2013)

You are never going to guess what CBGB is about. Done guess? It’s about the legendary club in New York! I KNOW, RIGHT? MIND… BLOWN. So the film follows the owner, who did whatever he could to keep his country blue grass blues bar open, including letting any band in that would bring a crowd. Over the years, Hilly Kristal’s ... Read More »

The Book Thief (2013)

The Book Thief follows a young woman, recently orphaned, in Nazi Germany. Her new adoptive parents are hiding a Jewish man, and they connect over a shared love of books. The girl, Liesel, shows up and is understandably sorta upset. These new parents seem nice, but she’s too young to have any sort of real opinion of what’s supposed to ... Read More »

Parkland (2013)

Parkland tells the tale of the people who surrounded the death of John F. Kennedy. From the ER doctor who did his best to help the president to Zapruder, who filmed the shooting and made one of the first important home made videos ever. It seems like much of the film is about the difference between people on the inside ... Read More »

The Grandmaster (2013)

The Grandmaster is a kung fu movie focusing on the life of Ip Man, the legend who trained Bruce Lee. I’ll admit the concept of a film about Bruce Lee’s master seems pretty cool, but at the same time it only means he was a good teacher, right? He might not have been the best fighter personally. Oh well, I ... Read More »

Paradise (2013)

Paradise, formerly known as Lamb of God, is Diablo Cody’s next flick, and her directorial debut. The film follows a faithful young woman whose faith is brought into question following a plane crash. The young girl is named Lamb (UGH). She comes from a very conservative family in a very conservative town, and is very devout, but after a plane ... Read More »