The Truth

Incredibly smart, The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo does what all good jigsaw thrillers should, keeping you glued to the screen as the pieces of the puzzle begin to fit together. Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nygvist) and Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace), good god that was a mouthful, {insert girlfriend joke here} are brought together by the head of the Vagner family to investigate the disappearance of his beloved niece 40 years ago.

The Laughs

You can laugh if you like. But it’s not funny.

What’s Good About The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo?

Where this movie sets itself apart from all the other serial-killer chasing, DIY detective thrillers is its fascinating characters. On probation for a crime committed when she was just a child, Lisbeth is a super hacker, all gothed-up with a bad attitude and a murky past. Seeming dangerously like a cardboard cut-out stereotype of a messed-up young woman Lisbeth instead reveals herself to be a complex mix of victim and violator. A five foot angel of death and vengeance in a t-shirt and high tops, she suffers unbearable horror but gets her revenge. Oh yes. And makes it permanent… Mickael has equally complex motivations and the development of their relationship is both captivating and touching.

What’s Bad About The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo?

Okay so I’m a girl and hence made of sugar and spice not sadism and rage as almost all of the male characters in this movie seem to be. Sweden seems like a very scary place to be a woman, or a person, or an animal in fact. Perhaps I was a censor in a previous life but a lot of the violence seems just a tad too much.

The Features

Special DVD features include; English-Language Dub Track, Interview With Noomi Rapace, The Vanger Family Tree and the Theatrical Trailer. The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo is also available on blu-ray.

What I Learned

All men are bad. Bad, bad, bad men.

The Verdict

The Swedes give good thriller. The plot is simple enough that you don’t get lost in it but complex enough that you feel the satisfaction of having worked for your revelations. A rare happy ending lifts this otherwise traumatic movie and provides closure while creating an opening for the next instalment – which I can’t wait to see.

The Truth

Gerard Butler plays good guy gone bad, Nick Rice. Nick is taking his lack of justice out on everyone who botched the court case of the men who killed his family. When hot-shot lawyer Clyde Shelton (Jamie Foxx) makes a deal with one of the men who killed his family, Shelton plans revenge on everyone involved.

You see, one of the killers got the death penalty, but the other got off with only 10 years behind bars. Shelton plans how he will get revenge on everyone involved, including all the layers, he has 10 years to make all the arrangements.

The film is a lot like Saw, in the way the murders are planned. Clyde Shelton is methodical and genius, as his plans of revenge are executed. He takes pity on nobody, if you were involved in the mis-justice of his family, you are going to die.

So this is where the movie got away from me. I felt no sympathy for anyone who got whacked in the film. The man lost his entire family, the scumbag lawyers made a shit deal, and they paid for it. Sure, there were a few innocent people who were killed, but consider what shitbags most lawyers are, I still felt no attachment to them.

Were we supposed to care? I’m confused. I never ever felt anything for the Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx’s character) or any of the other people besides Clyde Shelton. I loved every ounce of revenge he delivered, so I have no idea what the writers were trying to tell me. I was rooting for Jamie Foxx’s character to die in the end, was disappointed when he survived. I guess I am too vindictive for a movie like this.

What’s Good About It?

Gerard Butler is wonderful as a psycho.

What’s bad about it?

Jamie Foxx is clumsy as a lead character, often over-acting and far too weak of a lead actor for this role. I never have cared for Jamie Foxx, Law Abiding Citizen is another example of how poor of a lead actor he really is, unless he can land a role with singing in it. Seriously, Jamie Foxx blows.

What I learned

Apparently lawyers run around with cops, saving the day, and the Mayor of Philly has the same power as the President of the United States. lol, shutting down a city? Putting a city on lockdown! Lame.

The Verdict

Law Abiding Citizen has some huge flaws, including the tunnels under the jail, and the lockdown of Philly. But, the revenge factor was cool and emotional, so the film barely passes as a recommendation.
Watch it if you are bored, but don’t run out to rent this movie.

Other movies of note in December are Sherlock Holmes, The Lovely Bones and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Click on the movies below to learn more about them, who is in it and watch the trailers.

Happy Holidays!

The Scoop

Dr. Parnassus has the extraordinary gift of inspiring the imaginations of others. Helped by his traveling theatre troupe, including his sarcastic and cynical sidekick Percy and versatile young player Anton, Parnassus offers audience members the chance to transcend mundane reality by passing through a magical mirror into a fantastic universe of limitless imagination.

However, Parnassus’ magic comes at a price. For centuries he’s been gambling with the devil, Mr. Nick who is coming to collect his prize — Parnassus’ precious daughter, Valentina on her upcoming 16th birthday. Oblivious to her rapidly approaching fate, Valentina falls for Tony, a charming outsider with motives of his own. In order to save his daughter and redeem himself, Parnassus makes one final bet with Mr. Nick, which sends Tony and Valentina and the entire theatre troupe on a ride of twists and turns, in and out of London and the Imaginarium’s spectacular landscape.

Why you care

Heath Ledger is still making movies 2 years after he died, which is pretty amazing if you ask me.

Release Date

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus opens in theaters December 25th, 2009

Starring

Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, Christopher Plummer

Reminds me of

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus reminds me of that piece of shit movie ‘Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium’

Interesting Fact

Heath Ledger is dead, but he keeps on making movies.

The Good

Ah, Heath Ledger in another movie, even though he’s dead.

The Bad

Do you still pay union fees if you are dead and working?

Our Clever Prediction

Heath Ledger gets nominated for an award in the film, even though he’s dead. lulz.

Crazy Heart

Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges) is a broken-down, hard-living country music singer who’s had way too many marriages, far too many years on the road and one too many drinks way too many times.

And yet, Bad can’t help but reach for salvation with the help of Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a journalist who discovers the real man behind the musician.

Why you care

Like us, you’ve gotten pissed up to country music and contemplated life, cried and punched a hole in your wall.

Crazy Heart Release Date

December 16th, 2009

Starring

Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Robert Duvall, Sarah Jane Morris (II), Colin Farrell

Crazy Heart Reminds me of

I Walk The Line, a story about music, alcohol, love and struggles.

Interesting Fact

Jeff Bridges plays guitar in real life.

The Good

Movies about tragedy and recovery.

The Bad

Colin Farrell.

Our Clever Prediction

10 million at the box office.

Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Romantic-comedy regulars Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker finally unite in this fish-out-of-water laugher. The actors play Paul and Meryl Morgan, a Manhattan couple whose marriage is in danger.

But it turns out all they may need is a change of scenery: when the Morgans witness a murder and are sent by the government to small-town Wyoming to hide from the killers.

Why you care

You thought the film was about a talking horse, then you realized it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

Release Date

Starring

Sarah Jessica Parker, Hugh Grant, Elisabeth Moss, Mary Steenburgen, Sam Elliott

Reminds me of

For Richer or Poorer. This is a popular story where two people are forced into hiding only to rediscover their love and emotions.

Interesting Fact

Hugh Grant was busted with a hooker years ago.

The Good

Nothing good can come from Did You Hear About the Morgans?

The Bad

Hugh Grant’s career has taken such a dive he has to work with SJP and a pile of D list actors.

Our Clever Prediction

Santa will be delivering an enormous bundle of flop to the box office with Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Transylmania

Located deep in the heart of the “cursed land” of Transylvania in a centuries-old castle, Razvan University isn’t your typical institution of higher learning — and the black leather-clad professors, three-foot-tall dean, instruction in crucifix-wielding, and topless vampiresses lurking in dark corners are just the start.

Why you care

You have a craving to see half naked men run around the screen for 1.5 hours.

Release Date

December 4th, 2009

Starring

Patrick Cavanaugh, James Debello, Paul H. Kim, Tony Denman, Jennifer Lyons

Transylmania Reminds me of

Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie.

The Good

A film for gay men around the world only comes every few years, so you may want to flock to this if this is your thing.

The Bad

Horror movies that make fun of themselves and mock the niche.

Our Clever Prediction

Double check the butter on your popcorn, Transylmania is going to flop out at the box office.

Serious Moonlight

After she arrives at her country home for a romantic weekend getaway, things don’t go exactly as planned for high-powered Manhattan lawyer Louise. First, her husband of 13 years, Ian, tells her that he’s leaving her for a younger woman.

One thing leads to another, and pretty soon Ian finds himself held captive by an oddly cool Louise who explains that she won’t release him until he professes his love for her and commits to working on their marriage.

And that’s when things REALLY start to go wrong. The unexpected arrival of an opportunistic young gardener and Ian’s impatient mistress only serve to complicate the crisis even further, while somehow forcing Louise and Ian to reckon with their past and realistically deal with their future.

Why you care

You have fantasies about being locked in a bathroom with Kristen Bell.

Serious Moonlight Release Date

December 4th, 2009

Starring

Serious Moonlight stars : Meg Ryan, Timothy Hutton, Kristen Bell, Justin Long, Andy Ostroy

The Good

I’ll watch anything with Kristen Bell.

The Bad

I won’t watch anything with Justin Long in it.

Serious Moonlight Prediction

A December 2009 stinker, 12 million at the box office.

Everybody’s Fine

A widower who realized his only connection to his family was through his wife sets off on an impromptu road trip to reunite with each of his grown children.

Why you care

Because Kate Beckinsale is the most beautiful woman in the world, and you’ll watch anything with her in it.

Release Date

December 4th, 2009

Starring

Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Lucian Maisel

Interesting Fact

This is a remake of the 1990 film.

The Good

Kate Beckinsale

The Bad

Robert De Niro hasn’t had a decent movie in years.

Our Clever Prediction

Everybody’s Fine will have a mediocre impact at the box office.