An Invisible Sign is a dramatic comedy about a brilliant young woman who turned to math to escape from the pain of watching her sick father as a child. As an adult she teaches math to others to help them cope with their issues.
I can already see the thinking of the writer: What are two incredibly boring things? Math and therapy. How can I combine the two, write a book about it, then have Jessica Alba cast as the super genius like A Beautiful Mind (totally makes sense if you’re a moron or from Canada (sorry, redundancy)).
So Alba plays Mona Gray (sounds like a good porn name), the 20 year old math prodigy who has problems connecting with others. Oh, and she’s constantly tapping her fingers on stuff, and numbers fall out of said items, all CGI’d. CGIed? I don’t know.
Oh, and her students are little kids.
Oh, and she’s smart. You can tell cause of the pigtails.
Oh, and if you read the first word of the last couple sentences, you’ll realize I just gave you an orgasm.
An Invisible Sign
An Invisible Sign is directed by Marilyn Agrelo. She doesn’t have a lot of experience, which is why (I’m assuming) she cast Jessica Alba as something other than a hot chick shaking her booty. Of course, Ms. Agrelo may have lost a bet. Hmmm… And the movie is based on a book by Aimee Bender.
Aimee. SPELL IT RIGHT. IT’S AMY. Stupid.
An Invisible Sign Trailer
Movie Release Date
Limited release on May 6, 2011. I can’t believe a ‘Jessica Alba tries to act’ movie doesn’t get a big push during awards season.
Who’s In It?
Jessica Alba … Mona Gray
Bailee Madison … Young Mona
J.K. Simmons … Mr. Jones
Chris Messina … Ben Smith
Sonia Braga … Mom
John Shea … Dad
Blythe Auffarth … Nan
Ashlie Atkinson … Lisa’s Aunt
Sophie Nyweide … Lisa Venus
Emerald-Angel Young … Rita Williams
Marylouise Burke … Ms. Gelband
Daniel Pearce … Danny’s Dad
Joanna Adler … Lisa’s Mom
Jake Richard Siciliano … Elmer Gravlaki
Mackenzie Milone … Ann DiGanno
Ian Colletti … Danny O’Mazzi
Conor Carroll … 5th Grader
Daniel Dugan … Ms. Gelband’s Attorney
Kevin Fung … Kevin
Crystal Bock … Saleswoman
Lilly Hartley … Runner
Marin Gazzaniga … Hostess
What’s Good About It?
The trailer looks okay, and Jessica Alba is still pretty, even having birthed a kid.
What’s Bad About It?
It’s Jessica Alba trying to act. She’s so bad that she’s actually making me a worse actor. Since I can’t even act like I care about this.
Our Clever Prediction
Bombs away. No one will see this outside of the loyal members of the Dark Angel fan club.
So yeah, I’ll be seeing it.