The Ring 3 (2012)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock September 10, 2012 12
The Ring 3 (2012)

The Ring 3, or The Ring 3D, is the third installment in the megapopular horror franchise starring a creepy little girl who kills through a VHS tape. Haha! I download all my videos illegally! No death for me! (just kidding, I never break rules. Ever)

There are a handful of different potential stories out there right now. One is that the Ring 3D will reboot the series with a stronger emphasis on teenagers. Set as a prequel to the original Ring, it will tell the story before the video tape existed, with the teenagers dealing with a still living Samara. Another possible storyline, and my preferred choice, is that the teens struggle to find a still working VHS player. They end up in my dad’s house. Where the last VHS player in existence is sitting on the TV next to the unused DVR I bought him.

Trailer

Not yet.

The Scoop

The script is currently being handled by David Loucka, who has a bit of experience, although nothing on the level of The Ring. No director has been announced as of yet, but for the third film in a series that producers decided to make 3D, all the great directors must be lining up. No doubt Spielberg is heavily campaigning for the job. Right after the corpse of Hitchcock and Orson Welles.

Who’s It For?

G. What? It’s The Ring 3D. Of course it’s R.

Movie Release Date

2013. Probably in October. The scariest of all months. This upcoming horror movie has been cancelled 3 times, we are told 2013 is a go.

Who’s In It?

All rumors at this point:
Kaley Cuoco … (rumored)
Alexander Ludwig … Riley
David Dorfman … Aiden

Interesting Fact

Current tag line is:
You stop living the moment you want to die.

Ooooooo. Scary.

Related Movies

The Ring, The Ring 2, The Grudge, That other Grudge, Lord of the Rings (?)

It has a RING in it.

What’s Good About It?

The first one was scary.

What’s Bad About It?

The second one wasn’t scary. Rebooting to be more teen-centric? Probably not such a good thing. Granted, most horror films follow kids, but that’s because they’re stupid and go FURTHER into the house with the killer. The Ring was cool because Naomi Watts was an adult and didn’t seem retarded. Of course, she did have a retarded kid. Who watched the damn tape.

Our Clever Prediction

I have no doubt it’ll get made. It may end up a straight to video release, but I doubt it. I’ve heard through my sources (I call it the internet) that the film is being made with a far smaller budget than the first two installments, which will help, since it hardly matters. The Saw movies are made for about $80 bucks and a couple gift cards to Best Buy, so spending money on a horror film hardly matters. Just get something original for the little girl with the hair, and the scary, to do something interesting.

Also predicted. It will be spoofed in the installment of Scary Movie that comes out after The Ring 3D. Those guys are so clever.

12 Comments »

  1. the big cheese October 13, 2012 at 10:15 am -

    who uses VHS anymore lol

  2. evil matt July 29, 2011 at 11:57 pm -

    Samara,

    samara is sexy even the grudge…no really their sexy…long hair….white clothes….dirty..