Scary Movie 5 is, contrary to popular belief, the latest drama from Steven Spielberg. Crazy. The latest Scary Movie was actually supposed to be released back in 2011, but budget constraints and the fact they couldn’t decide if this STUPID FRANCHISE should even continue, put it on hold for two years.
That B.S. Intro is funnier than any joke that will be in Scary Movie 5. There are few details available at present as to what films will be spoofed in next installment, but no doubt there’ll be a Saw reference, probably one to the remake of Friday the 13th, maybe Shutter Island, and any of the horror films that are coming out in the next few months.
Scary Movie 5
Scary Movie 5 will made by the same team that made Scary Movie 4, as well as some classics like Airplane! Hot Shots! And Naked Gun. Okay, so Hot Shots! Wasn’t quite as legendary as the others. Still, better than Scary Movie 5. or 4. or 3. or 2. or 1.
Dimension films has described the plot as the following :
Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody, a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry, gets cut from the production and goes berserk.
So, it’s the end of Cindy and a new generation of Scary Movie characters are on the way, with Tisdale apparently the new lead for the next batch of Scary Movie entries.
Who’s It For?
Probably PG-13. Not many adults can turn their brains off enough to enjoy this crap.
Scary Movie 5 Release Date
April 12, 2013
Who’s In It?
Being a parody film, the new Scary Movie 5 has ton of cameos. The actual lead actress is Ashely Tisdale (Jody) , the film is littered with appearances by :
Simon Rex as Dan
Erica Ash as Kendra
Molly Shannon as Heather
Heather Locklear as Barbara
J.P. Manoux as Pierre
Marisa Saks as Amy
Christopher ‘Critter’ Antonucci as Caesar
Linda Porto as Maria
Lindsay Lohan as Herself
Charlie Sheen as Tom Logan
Jerry O’Connell as Christian Grey
Terry Crews as Unknown
Kate Walsh as Unknown
Audrina Partridge as Herself
Mike Tyson as Himself
Kendra Wilkinson as Herself
None of the Scary Movies are actually scary. Huh.
What’s Good About It?
I’ve said this before, but it’s worth mentioning again. I like knowing where all the stupid people are for a few hours on Friday nights.
What’s Bad About It?
I guarantee I can sit through the entire film without smiling. Or smirking. Grinning. Anything. I would find more enjoyment out of a “Pull my finger” joke.
Heh. Pull my finger.
Our Clever Prediction
How the heck are these things still getting made? Are they really that cheap to produce? I can’t imagine they make much money. (checks box office totals for last Scary Movie) HOLY CRAP THE LAST ONE MADE $172 MILLION DOLLARS.
I think I just shat myself.