Romeo and Juliet (2013)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock April 15, 2013 Comments Off

Romeo and Juliet is, YOU GUESSED IT, another version of Shakespeare’s classic. What separates this one? Not a damn thing. You’re welcome, AMERICA.

This version is said to be pretty true to the play, with the same time periods and such, with costumes and no Leonardo DiCaprio looking gay.

What? He looked gay in that movie. He wore a Hawaiian shirt that was open half the time. Gay.

I won’t waste too much of your time explaining the story, since if you’re an adult in the modern world you should have at least covered this once in high school English.

Needless to say, the film is about two teenage lovers that leave a trailer of destruction in their wake, with many dead and they kill themselves. So it’s like how I hope Glee ends.

Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet comes from director Carlo Carlei, who wrote and directed a film about a dog named Fluke, and he made The Last Legion. That was a period piece. Probably not a good one, but it was set in the past…

The writer is more interesting. He’s Julian Fellowes, who is a main writer, and possibly creator (I don’t watch it) of Downton Abbey, and he’s written some big Hollywood films like The Tourist, which I kinda liked even though everyone else hated it, and The Young Victoria, which wasn’t half bad.


Romeo and Juliet Trailer

Romeo and Juliet Release Date


Who’s In It?

  Damian Lewis … Lord Capulet
  Douglas Booth … Romeo
  Hailee Steinfeld … Juliet
  Paul Giamatti … Friar Laurence
  Stellan Skarsgård … Prince of Verona
  Natascha McElhone … Lady Capulet
  Ed Westwick … Tybalt
  Kodi Smit-McPhee … Benvolio
  Tom Wisdom … Paris
  Lesley Manville … The Nurse
  Christian Cooke … Mercutio
  Tomas Arana … Lord Montague
  Laura Morante … Lady Montague
  Nathalie Rapti Gomez … Rosaline
  Leon Vitali … Apothecary
  Matt Patresi … First capulet servant
  Simona Caparrini … Female Guest
  Mary Sellers … Farmer’s Wife
  Clive Riche … Peter
  Fabrice Scott … Watchman
  Marco Quaglia … Farmer

What’s Good About It?

Well, it is Shakespeare, and one of his best plays. Okay, not best, but one of his more famous, and it’s pretty damn good. I love watching young people slaughter tons of people all because they have a crush.

What’s Bad About It?

It’s yet another version of Romeo and Juliet. It’s been done. Where’s the version of The Two Gentlemen of Verona?

Our Clever Prediction

Hailee Steinfeld is really getting a big chance here with Romeo and Juliet. She was nominated for her outstanding performance in True Grit, but she had the advantage of the Coen Brothers directing. I’d almost do a decent job if they were directing me. Still, she’s not bad, and looks very pretty in her period clothes. The Romeo does something I didn’t think was possible though, which is that he looks like an even gayer version of Robert Pattinson. Well done.

So this should make a ton of money.

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