Poltergeist (2013)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock June 28, 2010 8

Oh MGM, what will you ruin today? Bond? The Hobbit? No, this time it’s the remake of Poltergeist. The original, co-written by Steven Spielberg, was about a family dealing with the supernatural in their suburban setting. The remake would probably adhere closely to that story, only this time the TV won’t show static, but rather suck in the girl with 3D!! Or something else stupid.


The film has, for the moment, been put on hold due to MGM’s financial woes. Director Vadim Perelman, who directed other horror masterpieces The Life Before Her Eyes and House of Sand and Fog, has been attached since 2008, but at this point, there is some question as to whether the film will be made. Blessing or curse? (Curse like in the movie?)

Poltergeist 2013

The script is to be written by up and comers Juliet Snowden and Stiles White, who are also charged with remaking Birds and recently wrote Alex Proyas’ Knowing. I guess it could be worse.

Who’s It For?

Fans of the original Poltergeist movie and lovers of all things horror.

Movie Release Date

At the earliest, late 2013, but it will be late in the year

Who’s In It?

Probably a ghost, sorry, Poltergeist of some sort.

Creepy Poltergeist Facts

Is there a curse on those involved in the original Poltergeist movie? Did you know Heather O’Rourke and Zelda Rubinstein are dead, so are Beatrice Straight and Dominique Dunne (she played the hot older teen daughter). Dunne was murdered by her boyfriend after the movie.

Interesting Poltergeist Tidbit

In 1988, Heather O’Rourke, Dunne’s young Poltergeist costar, was also buried close to her. The two girls who played sisters in the movie are both dead, and resting close to each other. Ok, maybe it wasn’t that interesting, but at least I tried to teach you something new today.

What’s Good About It?

If the trailer has, “This house is clean,” then I’ll see it. I probably see it anyways. Seriously though, it was a wonderful movie in its day, but I’m not sure how it will hold up with the success of Paranormal Activity.

What’s Bad About It?

How about something original? Here, 3 seconds of brainstorming, and looking at the writer’s other work, let’s make a mashup of Poltergeist and Birds. Bird Ghosts! They get all in your hair, suck you into televisions, take your daughter out past curfew, carry disease, make crappy movie remakes, all the bad stuff that scares me! 3 seconds. New record. Watch it get made, make billions, and I get NOTHING. I have got to stop writing these awesome ideas on the internet. That’s what my dream journal is for.

Our Clever Prediction

Eventually, I think it’ll get made, but don’t expect before 2013. It’ll do halfway decent business, as horror films usually do, and then a second, crappier sequel to a remake that had tons of sequels will be made, and the circle of life will be complete. Revelations occurs. Real life Poltergeist stuff. Wonderful oblivion. Drinks all around!

8 Comments »

  1. The Openminded March 20, 2011 at 6:32 am -

    The Openminded,

    Oh! But now I see what I just said under the “Creepy Poltergueist Facts” so…. yeah… haha

  2. The Openminded March 20, 2011 at 6:28 am -

    You know, I thought this movie was kind of like a superstitious taboo; kind of like “Amityville Horror”, or “The Twilight Zone”, or something. Though I could be TOTALLY wrong, and if I am, someone feel free to tell me. But I heard that some cast/crew members died mysteriously after making this movie…

  3. Ericha Lichter March 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm -

    OMG is f**king right. I LOVED this movie as a child and still love it today. It amazes me with so much new material out there, not to mention a cache of old movies and some not so hot, that could be given new life or brought back from the dead, Studio Execs greenlight a movie that was box office gold.

    Hey MGM – listen, rather than f**k with a good thing, why not remake Demon Seed. The 1977 version although campy, lacked all that is at your disposal today (3D, Graphics, Technology, etc…) However, if you go by way of the sorely disappointing “The Stepford Wives” remake (grant it neither orginal or remake were an MGM release), then maybe it is time for the great MGM to be put out to pasture.

    LOVE THIS SITE, … :-)