Gallowwalkers (2013)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock February 28, 2013 Comments Off

Gallowwalkers is a new Western horror film starring Wesley Snipes as more of less cowboy Blade. In other words, there’s no way this film is going to suck.

The basic premise of the movie is that Wesley Snipes plays Aman, whose mother was a nun who broke her covenant with God to make sure he survived. This act placed a curse upon Aman, who is now a gunslinger. The curse states that any man or woman he kills will come back to life as some sort of zombie/vampire thing. Now, after years of killing the worst people the world has to offer, they start to rise from their graves. And it’s up to Aman to stop them. He recruits a young gunslinger named Fabulos (REALLY?) and they start killing the dead.

BAM. Movie written.

Gallowwalkers

Gallowwalkers comes from director Andrew Goth, who cowrote the screenplay with Joanne Reay. Goth has directed a couple other films, Cold and Dark, and B.U.S.T.E.D., but I’ve never heard of them, so they must suck, right? The latter did have David Bowie though…

Pictures

Gallowwalkers Trailer

Gallowwalkers Release Date

TBA, 2013.

Who’s In It?

 Wesley Snipes … Aman
  Kevin Howarth … Kansa
  Riley Smith … Fabulos
  Tanit Phoenix … Angel
  Simona Brhlíková¹ … Kisscut
  Steven Elder … Apollo Jones
  Patrick Bergin … Marshall Gaza
  Jonathan García¹ … Slip Knot
  Hector Hank … Hool
  David De Beer … Apprentice Boy
  Alyssa Pridham … Sueno
  Dallas Page … Skullbucket
  Derek Griffiths … Mosca
  Alex Avant … Forty Bold
  Jenny Gago … Mistress
  Tommy Van der Nest … Troy

What’s Good About It?

Um… EVERYTHING IS GOOD ABOUT THIS MOVIE. It’s Cowboy Blade! I mean, COME THE FUCK ON.

Also, it has Tanit Phoenix, who is pretty hot.

What’s Bad About It?

As much as I love vampires, cowboys and Wesley Snipes, the trailer looks like a bad B-Movie. And that’s saying something because most B-Movies are pretty good.

Our Clever Prediction

I can’t imagine Gallowwalkers making much money, but it does look pretty good for a fun, no-thinking just boobs and blood type of film. I don’t complain about those kinds of films.

Comments are closed.