Warcraft (2013)

Flying Brian Banana Hammock December 6, 2010 9

Warcraft is an adaptation of the popular World of Warcraft video game. Can you imagine the nerd turnout when a Warcraft Movie is made? Well get ready for the 2013 release of Warcraft…


Little is known about Warcraft’s story at present. It is to be set within the fictional world that millions of fans play in everyday, with the Horde and Alliance playing a part, as well as the overall mythology playing a part. No word as of yet as to the characters or what the actual plot will be, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say there’ll be some WAR.

Nutjob director Uwe Boll tried to buy the Warcraft movie script from Blizzard, and they immediately told him to ‘fuck off’.

‘We will not sell the movie rights, not to you… especially not to you. Because it’s such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it.”

Warcraft Movie Trailer

Not yet.

The Scoop

Spider-Man and The Evil Dead director Sam Raimi is set to direct the adaptation, which gives hope that it will be fun and scary, as well as get the budget necessary to make the film. Robert Rodat is writing the script, and he previously worked on Saving Private Ryan, which as we all know was based on WoW, so no doubt he knows the world very well. At least he has talent.

Who’s It For?

Nerds, virtual warriors, keyboard warriors, virgins, IT workers, fat men with hairy backs, physically unfit people. Oh, and this fucking guy…

Movie Release Date

2013, since it isn’t in production yet. The script still needs to be finished and rumor has it Mark Hildebrandt will be playing Varian Wrynn

Who’s In It?

No official casting news yet, but gay Superman Brandon Routh has been campaigning for a role, as he’s a huge fan of the game.

Interesting Fact

World of Warcraft players in North America and Europe alone produce $800 million a year, and there are more players in Asia. That’s a lot of money.

Related Movies

Spider-Man, Evil Dead, Dungeons and Dragons

What’s Good About It?

Sam Raimi rocks my nuts off. As long as he makes the film he wants to make, and the studio leaves him alone, the World of Warcraft should be cool.

What’s Bad About It?

Right now, there’s essentially no news. Raimi has other projects on his plate that will probably come before WoW, so it could be a while before we see the film. Let’s hope that he gets the support he needs to get it done right.

Oh, and gay Superman wants to be in it. Great.

Our Clever Prediction

The built in fanbase of devout crafters (?) will make the film a success. I think there’s something like 10 million players, and many of them are devout, so they might see the film more than once. If they also bring their friends, then the film could end up being huge.

Wait, they play World of Warcraft. They don’t have friends

Oh Snap.

9 Comments »

  1. df September 19, 2011 at 9:15 pm -

    JPK,

    I completely agree with you jpk. The sword of truth series is one of my favorites and I was supremely dissappointed with Legend of The Seeker. They really “screwed the pooch” with that one.

  2. Mike June 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm -

    Not gonna see it. Some how bobby kotick and acticrap friends will find a way to charge a fee upon entering the movie theatre.

    Not to mention if they model it after the game at all now, it will be a movie of the actors bieng in ONE place acting like they are afking and waiting for their que to pop. Once they magically appear somewhere else they will proceed to tell the other actors there about how shitty they are and then leave and go back to afking and waiting in a new que / rinse repeat.

  3. Gruff February 21, 2011 at 4:54 pm -

    i wanna see illidan pwn the humans lol

  4. Wow zones by level February 19, 2011 at 1:54 pm -

    Yes, it’s a serious business and they will do their best, but I don’t think they can reach the imact of Lord Of the Rings.