Thursday , 21 September 2017
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Total Recall (2012)

Lets just get right to it, shall we? They are remaking Total Recall for some reason, nobody really knows why. Guess who’s in the remake as the new Douglas Quaid/Hauser? Guess? Guess! Give up yet? Its none other than Colin Farrell, lol. Yes, the man who ruined Alexander, Miami Vice and many more memorable characters is taking Arnold’s role in the new Total Recall movie.

New synopsis:

“Total Recall” is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

Total Recall 2012

The storyline hasn’t changed in the new Total Recall remake, still the same old story. However, Colin Farrell as Quaid? Farrell is replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger, this is odd…

In Total Recall, a man (Quaid) goes for virtual vacation memories of the planet Mars, an unexpected and harrowing series of events forces him to go to the planet for real.

A ton of ass-kicking follows, and the bad men pay the ultimate price for betrayal… with THEIR LIVES! Nobody messes with Arnold, and lives, so we can only imagine the same thing goes for that scary looking mofo Colin Farrell when he takes the role for the new Total Recall remake. Now, you may be hearing this isn’t a remake, but it is. The Total Recall story is just being retold again with a slight twist to the plot. If you believe this version of Total Recall is anything different from the Arnold one, you are wrong.

Oh, we still don’t know who will play ‘Lori’ , Quaid’s wife.. you remember the original Lori was played by Sharon Stone, right? I vote for Lindsay Lohan, she needs a job, plus I heard she’s willing to go topless in the movies now. Seems like yesterday that Sharon Stone was in her awesome 80’s spandex, trying to kill Arnold in their apartment… sniff.. where do the years go.

Also, Ethan Hawke is in the movie now… sheesh… just when I thought this movie had a chance.

Update : We do know now who is playing Quaid’s wife, and they may have finally got something right in this new Total Recall movie. Kate Beckinsale is playing Lori! Cool right? But guess what? Guess who’s playing Melina? Jessica Biel. Yup. So, you know, if they could just find a way to get rid of Farrell, I’d be really big on this remake.

Total Recall 2012 Pics

Who’s It For?

I guess they think Total Recall had that big of a following to warrant a remake? Really?

Movie Release Date

The new Total Recall is going to be an August 2012 Movie Release

Who’s In the new Total Recall?

Colin Farrell, plus rumor has it Arnold may make a cameo appearance now that he is out of a job.
Bryan Cranston … Vilos Cohaagen
Colin Farrell … Doug Quaid/Hauser
Kate Beckinsale … Lori
Jessica Biel … Melina
Bill Nighy … Kuato
Ethan Hawke – undetermined.

What’s Good About It?

The filmmakers think the new technology will make the remake worthwhile. Also, remember the 3 titted alien in the bar? She was sort of hot. Oh shit, almost forgot about this epic moment.

What’s Bad About It?

Really? Remaking Total Recall? Whats next, a remake of Battlefield Earth? Can we stop with the remakes?

Our Clever Prediction

Unless my suggestion of Lindsay Lohan as the topless, 3-titted stripper is adopted, this movie will flop more than Colin Farrell’s three previous movies combined.